Thinking about My Life

Nowadays, I've been thinking of how to raise some education and travel budget. My plan was this; while I am studying at Culinary Institute of America, I am going to travel in Europe as well. Traveling is really important for becoming a experienced chef. It is simple resolute; more you see, more you know. Okay, I have pretty good plan to be the best, yet the thing anyone can't live without, money, makes everything muddy since I couldn't hold much of it. I even thought to change my career because I now earn very little money and have been spinning around at the same spot.
I felt that I don't belong to kitchen. I found that I am very individual but not easy with group. Whenever someone judges me, I just can't take it. What I usually like to say is that I am who I am so you'd better get used to with myself. Working at kitchen is teamwork. We have work together to serve better food to customers. There is no I and you, only we. I think that kind of thought makes me nut to work at kitchen.
In the Kitchen, there is always a head chef there and he orders what he want to. All the standard and recipes are from him. He is the rule of the kitchen. Only thing other cooks have to do is to do what exactly he told, like a robot. When he called order, we have to respond like between a drill sergeant and a private solder. Some people like to said that when head chef barks to you, you have to bark back.
Ten years of same routine, I probably felt sick and tired to work at kitchen. Enormous amount of tuition fee gave me a thought of what if I changed my major to be a interior designer just like my sister, so I called her to get advice.
My sister and I am more like a cat and a dog. When we were very little boy and girl,we were really good friends each other. As matter of fact, we were the best friend since we are the only sibling. Once we started growing up to be a man and a woman, we've began to have different thoughts and life style. We had so many arguments. She is the first child so she wanted to become a in charge. Because I am a son, I couldn't accept that. She always said you do that and you do this, but I always you do that and I do this. Even though I hate say this, I have my father's personality. I've been trying to change. I really didn't want to be like a my father. My mother and sister is very similar each other. While I was in Sydney, their relationship between mother and doughter has became elder and younger sisters. Another word, they are very close each other.
I am totally different from any entire family members. I am probably an alien. They are very Korean and like to keep that way. Me? I always think why I should do same way. Since then I even have cultural trouble with my family. How funny is that?
Back to my sister, I told her because of money problem and got bored with working at kitchen, I am concerning about change the career, to become a interior designer. My sister is an Interior designer. She said this job is also not so easy. Of cause, how many jobs are not so tough to reach the top point? The reason I asked my sister was I want to compare two career. If I start to study te design, I want to relate with restaurant business. That is what I thought and why I called her. She actually disappointed me today. Now that I've been tough time with everything, I've thought to give up what's I have been doing. For now, anything new beginning will take more cost and time. She also said that I strongly wanted to study at CIA and I now don't want to, so that was really disappointment. I should find a solution, not a getaway. She is right. I think I've been really weak. Past many years, my mother fund me to study so if I gave up now, she will feel horrible about supporting me.
My sister always looks reality. She knows me very well so she could gave me harsh words, yet that sometimes wake me up. I feel little better now. I have to be more strong. If I want to move forward, I have to push myself harder. Although she and I always argue each other, she is sometimes right and that make me stand up strongly.