It’s been 13 years….

That is how long I have been in the kitchen beside the time I used to be a waiter since I was 16 years old. I don’t remember why I wanted to be a chef when I started it. Be frankly, girls loved a guy with cook books when I started cooking. I thought that was break threw to get laid. Only the problems is that past years weren’t my shows. I wasn’t shiny gold to bright up at the front of ladies. Maybe that is the reason I am always cranky, the person who is always not happy.

Whenever I saw a guy with ugly face and looking so fucking so lonely, I asked myself if I am that guy. really?? Why can’t I be a guy that having sex with 100 girls in a year?? Okay, if you think that I am thinking of sex too much, I think you are right. I do think I am sex addicted sometimes. I thought that I could get laid all the times when I become a chef. Yes, cooking for a girl is the most erotic thing the man can do for her. My favorite thing is that wearing nothing but an apron when I cook for a girl. I haven’t had chance, though. I want to do it!





With that basic reason, without thinking of cooking better food every day, I have only been cooking, I guess. I often embarrass by saying “I’ve been cooking for 13 years.”. When I got a big tattoo of my first knife with a sign of ‘Since 1999’, I didn’t want to put it at the first because people will ask me what is the mean by since 1999 and I have to say that is the year when I started cooking. Only the problem would be that people might think my food isn’t good enough for 13 years and wonder what he has been doing all these years. Despite all these fact that I put it with my first knife, I know it will be my wake up call, to say to myself ‘ wake up! You have been cooking since 1999, for god sake, it was fucking last century.’. I think I became more ego to be better and want to swim deep inside of the ocean because I want to swim, not sinking. I can’t really focus on only one thing, even my writing lost the focus time to time, but, if I focus on many things, I became more focused. It probably is the reason of why I have tried many things. Although my cuisine may lose some focus than 100 percent-ers, I am not only a chef. I don’t have any talents. Only talent that I have is to be different. I can’t just follow other people’s style. I like to observe few thing and then alter to my own way. Whatever I do is just me. I want to hear ‘that is Roy’. Now I want to put that in my cuisine.

It was last thing I cooked for Le Verre Vole

Slow Roasted & Herb Crushed Pork 

My last Summer Dish:

Onglet beef with Confit Tomato, Roasted Multi color Beet, Green puree and mushroom puree

Sunday

I just took shower and got dressed. Past two days of locking myself in my room, I wanted to go to the city. Only problem is that outside is raining and I don't want to carry around my only one umbrella saying "Thomas Henkelmann". It's from the work and I am no longer belong there.
Many times when chef was upset at me, chef said all the time, "next time will be your last day!" I just couldn't take that bull shit any more, so I quit the job. I spent two days to write a cover later, but I haven't finished yet. I got so much thing to say; why I had to quit the job, what I look for and blah blah. The only thing I look for is to have better life and make me happy to work. Work can be simply work without having a meaning of it. That is why career is different from simply a job.
I didn't work with people who don't have professionalism and passion of cooking. It doesn't I do have. Whether become one or now is the matter of environment as I believe. I am not just upset of him but also the environment. I couldn't take it anymore. I feel kinda good to be out of that job.
Now, I have to find a new opportunity. Wherever I got a job, I will go. My life get tougher but I am getting even tougher. People, please, cross your fingers for me

About My Career

I am a chef. I loved my job so much that I enrolled courses at Culinary Institute of America. Even though I like what I do, I am still a worst cook in the kitchen. I knew how to cut, but I still don't understand how to cook. I've this career for 10 years. I don't know anything about my career. Sometimes, I don't know the meaning of this career because we, chefs, don't have any life beside working in the kitchen like a dog. Why? Why we have to dedicate our lives to working for some famous chefs or something else. Okay, I understand that we have to love our career so much; otherwise we can't stand by the heat. What i found really funny thing about working in the kitchen was that once a chef tasted money, there is no such thing as humanity.
My last boss in Australia, he was one of well known chef in Sydney. His restaurant was top of only one casino in the city, and it's "One Hat"(more likely one Michelin Star) restaurant. When I contracted employment, the paper said I would work for 45 hours a week and over times fees. It was great package since I was going to work for a corporation. However, the reality was different from what I expected. I work from 12 to 12 everyday without having any break time. On Friday, I had to come back the kitchen at 9 in the morning since we had lunch service. I worked around 70 hours a week. Guess what? On my pay check, I only received 45 hours. I really didn't understand why. I asked him if I can get over time, but what he said was that since I worked for a good chef, him, and learn from him, it was okay to not get paid. He also said that there are many people work for him for free to learn something. What I wanted to said was "Bullshit!" I knew you worked for 29 years something and you make money like million dollars every year, but you treat your labors like slaves. I needed money to save for my education in the US. I couldn't make any deal with the chef, I talked to the company before I resigned the job. The chef called me on the phone and said he wanted to speak to me before I leave. I thought that I could get a reference for all my hard works. It was trick. When I left the job, I gave Korean cooking books to the chef and his Sous chef for appreciation. When I went back to the restaurant, he was angry at me for reporting over time to the company. Well, other two Kiwis asked the money and got some, so why not me? He threw me the book that I gave to him. I guess he didn't need my appreciation, so I threw away it into a bin. Seriously, what the fuck was that?
In New York City, I've seen many "Famous Starred Chef" hired cheap labors to make more money, not better food. I did believe cooking career is professional filed. Anybody can cook for sure. Food is the most fundamental thing, so everyone have to cook to eat something, right? As result, everyone can cook. However, how many people are professional cook? Here, in America, are many inexpensive labors coming from poor country. It wouldn't matter whether the restaurant is high standard or not, many chefs hire people from these country.
I feel sometimes really unfair about this situation. I've spent all my life and money to step up. I've been cooking as a professional although I am still not good at it. Only because many chef-owners want to make more money and save money from not hiring professional chefs, including myself, many formally trained chef couldn't get a job.
Seriously, what the fuck? Which is more important between money and morality?
In short term business, the chef would make a lot of money, yet the chef probably loose the business some day.
What I have in my mind is that we need revolution!! We need a strong chef union to protect our career. I'd like to organize the union but one man isn't enough. I need more people and restaurants to get together strongly. Chefs are united!! We need our job back from untrained and cheap labors.

Study Meat

At the meat class, we have to know all these parts of beef. For identification test, our chef pulled out all the meats and went over again for one more time. Some of them easy to recognizable but some others were not. Anyway, I post these pictures on my blog so my classmates can study as well. Let's get everybody A plus for meat ID and Fabrication class!!

-Donation for Education-

The day I quit the job

Yesterday, I simply walked out Veritas Kitchen. It wasn't sink or swim situation. It was only walk in or out. If I like to be there, I would stay, but If I don't, I should walk away even though the kitchen is the finest. I met many good chefs who like me. The reason I walked out is that I didn't think Veritas is the only kitchen I can work in New York City. Learning experience is very important in chef career. Especially, where I worked and who the chef I used to work with is very important as well. Chef Gregory, who was my boss at Veritas, I liked him. Him and I are same age but he has definitely better experience than I do. He was a good boos, though. I don't want to blame anybody who works there for my decision. I just couldn't feel fit into that kitchen, and I also thought I wasted so many hours to work there. Working and studying at the same time is very tough for sure, but I wanted to feel the life, a grown man, and a busy man. In order to work on weekend, I had to more focus on the study; otherwise I probably couldn't have any chance to study. Every times on the way to work, I carried some text books or homework because I didn't want to waste any minute. I wanted to spend the time wisely. That is the one thing I regret about working on the weekends. Due to tiredness from the work, I actually spent that time to relax. I've been upset of it as well.

When the chef asked me if I could work on the weekend, I, without doubt, said "Of cause because I thought that I would be good for my career . In fact, he promised to help me to find a job in France once I graduated. That could be the biggest reason I stuck there every weekend. Until last weekend, I'd worked there as a part time cook for two months. While I was a full time cook, I really got along with the team. I had so much fun. It might over reacting but I felt a little bit of gap between them and I after weekends and months. I don't say I have a good people skill. I am not a arrogant bastard but a solo player sometimes. I don't asked them to pay attention to me and I don't have to pay attention to them all the time either. As a team, I should stick with them for sure, but I want to be alone sometimes. I guess only because I was there on the weekends, people don't think me as a part of team. It could be the one of the reason I walked away.

I was really upset the day I walked away. Of cause, chef job is very tough and stressful. I 've been under stress from not only the work but seriously everywhere. I knew I am not the person who has drama. I made many mistakes and chef yelled at me to read Escoffier book again. My mind shook and temped me to stay until end of the shift or until end of Jun, but I just wanted to walked away bravely. I just showed them who I was. I was neither a draper or a looser. I can say to people that I was looking for a place where I can fit in and both people and I can be matched, just like find a right woman to get marry. If I don't think there is the right place, I should step into another place. Or even though the place and I don't matched, there are so many things to learn, I would stay until I felt I learned something completely from there.

I feel good about leaving Veritas, with a little bit of regretting. However I am the person who always looks at bright side. To future employer, you wouldn't have to worry about me because it was only my choice and only happens when the situation was worth. This was the first time I actually walked away like that.

Say good by to Veritas and Say hello to new place where I am going to work

Veritas Style...

On Sunday, I had a chance to take some photos of dishes at Veritas Restaurant New York, where I work as a cook. I like food here, very interesting and very tasty. These dishes are not the only menu, it's only parts of the whole menu. Anyway, Enjoy the pictures.





Crab Salad

Foie Gras Poached in red wine

We are the Veritas people

Enjoy....

at 2:36 A.M

I am supposed to sleep by now, at this hour. Even though I am really tired from hard working, I can't sleep. Paying the tuition fee and living the life is too tough now days. Of cause I am not able to pay enormous amount of money by myself. I am still a cheap labor with little skill of cooking. Culinary Institute of America is one of the best, maybe the best culinary school, school in the world. The facility is absolutely perfect for exploring culinary skills and knowledge, yet no money means that there is no possibility to be there. For the US citizens, they could get government fund or student loans. There are many advantages. For a foreigner student like me, there is very limited option I can choose. Perhaps, there is no option for me. I desperately need much money as I need for studying.
Some chefs often say that a paper of culinary school degree would not make a chef, only working and learning at kitchen would make a great chef. I would not even doubt about the opinion because most chefs have not been any culinary school to become a chef. Working at fine restaurants will make better chef than someone who just graduated a finest culinary school.
So why I have to attend the most expensive and finest school is that the degree could give me an opportunity to work in Europe. That is one of my dream since I started my career as a chef. I couldn't go to Europe at the beginning, so although I am a cook at French kitchen, I don't have much knowledge and skills than anybody in the kitchen. If I were a Korean cuisine chef or any Asian chef just like my father, I could be better than anybody at Korean kitchen. From my perspective, Korean food is very simple and easy. It doesn't need a lot of technique and many flavor. Simply boiling, pan frying, mixing, and curing could be all about Korean food.
I am probably a worst cook in the kitchen where I am working at. In ten years, I still couldn't discover the true talent of cooking. I am always interested in restaurant interior. So, should I change my life career to be a restaurant designer? or culinary writer and photographer? Still confusing. Turning point is what I need.
I am having dilemma of my life, no money and no talent. I don't know where I am interested into. I love many things, yet I am not sure that I have passion of these. I feel like I am walking on dessert without direction. I've been walking one way from the start so I am still walking on same routine. I sometimes feel like I am turning around at same spot, not forward to get out of this dessert.
Life is miserable if you don't have either money, or power, or passion, or potential, or whatever. Nowadays, I always have not enough money; my passion of becoming a chef runs out; I am lost the way on my life; finally, I don't know what I want to become. I don't have any reasons to continue my life; nevertheless, I have to live my life before I actually leave this word. I'm having tough life inside and outside. There are probably many people have same situation for sure. I am not the only one who has issues. Well, the time will be the answer.
I really got to sleep; otherwise I will wake up late like last time, I have to be at the kitchen at 11 but I woke up at 11 because of too much thinking before the day.

March and New Beginning is Coming...

Wow, my last post was on February 4th. In sixteen days of my life has been either busy or lazy. I cook for my life. Chefs and cooks work like dog. The job is very tough. We commonly don't have extra free time after work. I've been many jobs. My first job was a flyer boy. In 90's Korea, many real estate office always needed someone to advertise their business, so I actually walked into the office and asked about the job. It was a easy job and very little money, but feeling from earning some money by myself was so good. Yeah, that was it! I wasn't interested in study, but making money. I only could make 3000 won, which is about two or three dollars for current currency. At these times, the money was neither too small nor too big. It was good enough to do my hobby. I've been a waiter, a construct worker, a dish washier, a gym trainer, a English teacher, a translator, a video store staff, a student worker, a sales man and some other stuff as well. Since i was 16 years old, I've been real living life, maybe. I wasted little bit of past my life, so I can't waste anymore. From this Mach, my life will be began with study more about the cooking career. I perhaps like more, or vince verse. Huge bating is on the table of my life. Studying at CIA isn't that cheap. I might have to get two jobs to pay the tuition and my living cost. As matter of fact, I need more money to travel and work in Europe in order to learn more about European Cuisine. With all these reasons, I am thrilled to study, and, meanwhile, worry about my future.
I sometimes think what if I didn't like to study about cooking and work in kitchen. I spent all these year to come to be now I am. I often complain about working environment in kitchen; hours are too long, dangerous,rude attitude, insulting, sarcasm, boosting itself, arguing, too tired, too stressful and so on.
When I started working at Astral Bar and Restaurant at Star City Sydney, my noses were bleeding in a just few weeks because of too tired. At least 60 hours in five days drove me crazy. Before that restaurant, I had a such a strong passion of becoming a chef. Indeed, when I used work at Kingslays Prime Steak House on Bridge Street Sydney, I loved to be there. People liked my cooking and my personality even though my English was that strong enough to communicate with them. I often had a idea of today's special and daily soup. I even bought some books to create new menu. The head chef, Tri Hang; a Chinese-New Zealander-Australian, liked me lot and he is the first chef who wrote me a reference. The dishes served at the restaurant was fine-casual food. They always had finest beef in Australia, the steak was their speciality and superb. They didn't serve dry-aged beef, yet served a kilo T-bone steak and many parts of steak. Working at that restaurant for a year wasn't wasted. The year was grateful. I got a title of chef at that time, chef de partie.
While I was working at Astral, I often had hard times. I had never worked so hard in my life before then. In Seoul and Sydney, I usually worked in between 40 to 48 hours in five to six days. However, working at Astral wasn't same as my past cooking career. I don't blame anything about working at Astral. Astral is one hat, as similar as one Micheline star, restaurant in Sydney. It was one of the finest restaurants and had finest chefs in Sydney. I had never thought that I could work at fine dinning restaurant. The most fine restaurant that I had been was Kingslays Prime Steak. Astral was only one restaurant serves fine modern Australian and French cuisine among the restaurants, five restaurants and seven kitchens, at Star City Casino and Hotel Sydney. I worked there about 11 months. While I was there, I learn so much and found new passion of fine cuisine. The kitchen was toughest place I had never been; nevertheless, the memories of working and learning at there was priceless. At the end, both head chef Sean and sous chef Tonny liked me working at the kitchen although I was really a piece of shit.
Because a shitty chef was all I've been, studying more about this career was good enough reason to be excited. I could have more knowledge and skills by the time I graduated the school. I now also work at one Michelin star French restaurant. From my chef, I learn so much about french and his cuisine. He is same old as I am and has only four or five years more experiences than I have, but he is a great chef and a guy.
From March, I will work and study at the very same time. I might get another job at school to earn some more money. I have to figure out how to manage the time that I can study hard. I would be very busy; no time for playing on the ground. Most of time that I would have to do is to be attended at either kitchen or class room. I can even say "I am cooking all the time with my brain and my body." Beside the time to sleep, I am probably going to live with the fantasy of culinary world.
Whenever I feel sick and tired of working at kitchen, I often have day dreams of my restaurant. I always conclude the thought with saying to myself, "In order to be a best, I have to work with bests no matter what." I have to kill myself little bit more in the kitchen. I have to be more serious about my career. I've became a alcoholic and caffeine addict, but these two are all for my career as well. Now that requesting of becoming something good at, every minute is pleasant. Even the time with my friends and all the legal drugs, I have to be enjoy the moment. I might have to decide between study and something other fun stuff. Both are very important for my life, so it would be very tough to pick one, yet I have to choose to study more often than other until I become the one. After I reach that peak, I will enjoy my life more.
Wow, very short free time has gone already. I now time to sleep for tomorrow, the big Saturday. I wish I could write more often, and I could buy a Single Lens Camera very soon. My last wish before the March is that everything goes well. That is exactly what I need. Since I don't believe the god, I don't want to pray to him, but myself. I still have a desire for digging more into cooking field. I said it, so I have to get everything right. Many thing are on the to-do and must-to-be-done list. Even though I feel little bit under pressure, my last words are "What I gotta do, I gotta do."

Two weeks before Today

I was with my chef;Gregry pugin, and good chef buddy at same kitchen;Andrew from SF, two weeks before today because we had a charity function. Before that day, chef told me if I can work next week Wednesday, so I said "sure." I have no reason to refuse his offer since I don't have any plane anymore on my day-off. I wasn't too much excited about it. However two days before the day, sous chef; Danny, showed me the event information. The event was called "Dinning in New York City." In one place, all the finest chef and his teams in town cooked for people. Soon as I saw the list of restaurants, I felt extremely excited. Well, can you imagine that I could cook with all these greatest chefs in town? I would be honor to be there as a chef.
The day was begun with 11 in the morning. My chef buddy, Andew was the day chef's right hand man, showed me the list and we prepare for the event. Only one menu that represented the restaurant was all ready cooked before the day. "Foie Gras poached in Red wine with a piece of Fruit Bread, Onion marmalade and Port Wine reduction." Each things needs long hours to be ready to eat. That is the reason I missed to see how to be done and everything was done after I came back from the day-off. We were ready in an hour and then helped rest of kitchen crew for service.
At 3 p.m, all three of us carried all the things to the event. The place wasn't that far from the restaurant, so we walked for five blocks. Guess what happened? We had an address but we were spinning around because unfinished building was on that address. We were confused. I even thought if we were at right place in right time. I suggested to leave everything on the street for now, then I will go for finding a place. I actually checked date and time everything on the booklet. I saw some of food supply delivery was going to that unfinished building, so walked to a construct worker and then, showed the booklet in order to find whether I came to right place. Once he confirmed the place, I went back to tell them that is the place.We were first kitchen team arrived that place. Surprisingly, the building was luxury apartment. Each room was opened for chefs and guests. I saw there were several tables for each restaurants in the room. We took one of tables and left all these thing we brought. I wondered why people chose this place since the place is neither convention center nor function room. On the same floor, there were only five unites, I saw each unites. I thought that all the chefs from 40 restaurants would not be fitted in whole unites. Anyhow, we were the earliest one, so the answer would be found when everybody were there.
We went to a pub for break till event was begun. We, three of us, had a good conversation. Especially, I felt I knew my chef more. We talk about food. He gave me some advice as well. He told me my seasoning is aways under so I have to watch out that. I heard my chef's story and my chef buddy story as well. He is one year younger and less year of experiences than me, yet he works really hard and is a good chef. He said his major at the college was Philosophy before stepped into kitchen. He was trained at all the top restaurants in New York. I don't want to go over with all the details of the conversation, but only one thing I want to say is that it was really good time. I got to know them better and they knew me better as well.
At the service hour, we were busy to present what we cooked. Some presses took photos of us and food. Many people kept asking what we cooked and what is on the dish. Funny story is I was supposed to say, "This is Foie Gras poached in Red Wine with onion marmalade, port wine reduction and fruit bread," but I said, "This red wine poached in Foie Gras." I didn't know why I did but it was actually confused the guest. It was fun, though. Our next tables were chefs with teams from Annisa and Wallse. We shared one other's dishes. I was good to taste the fine dish for free. Once the service was little slow, I visited to other tables and other rooms. As I was curious about how many kitchen team could fit on only one floor with five unites, I found that only 15 restaurants were attended. I was little bit disappointed, yet it was really good opportunity to taste all the samples of their dishes. My favorite was, of cause, my chef's menu: Foie Gras. It was really good. It was so good that one lady actually came back to our table for seven times, as many as Andrew counted. Second favorite was pork belly from East 15. Japanese infused pork was melted on my tong. Others were also good, there were no disappointment for sure.
I am finally writing about the day. I've been too lazy and busy. I've wanted to write about it but I just didn't do it. While I am writing, it was good feeling to remember the day I had fun, the day I felt that I was glad to be a chef.

at Eleven Madison Park

At the door of Eleven Madison Park, Maitre D pointed one of my badges on my bag because the badge says "I heart porn." Although he said nicely "Could you take off that (pointed my bag but he didn't say I love porn), please," He looked at me like "What the fuck! Oh my god! Is he stupid or something." I said It doesn't mean anything, though." But still he said "please" and looked at me like 'Oh for god sake! Oh my god. Are you serious?' Anyhow, I took it off as he demanded. Since the restaurant was such high standard restaurant, I could understand why he asked me to removed the badge. I believe he didn't mean to me, he just did his job.

After meeting with Executive sous chef, I could change to chef jacket and go to the kitchen. The kitchen was enormously huge. I guess it was the biggest kitchen I've never been whole my chef career. Kitchen made me feel nerves and, at the same time, exciting to be there. Well organized spaces and all the chefs work very hard. I can smell the kitchen. Very light and good. By the way, I like that feeling in the morning I go inside of the walk-in. As long as no food was spoiled in there, smell is very delicious and make me eat something.

First impression was very good. The monster size of kitchen and many working hard chefs in the kitchen made me really small me even though I am a small guy. One of chefs showed me around and i stared chopping. The time I started work was almost finished lunch service, so lunch, dinner shift chefs, and prep kitchen cooks were packed in the kitchen. Every corner and sections were filled with hard working chefs. Cooking, chopping, and laughing from little chatting while their hands were busy. I was too nervous. I almost barely spoke English. First day, so what the hell!! Chopped few things and did whatever other chefs asked me to do, when Ex. sous chef found mistake from my works, I felt really sham, I said my self, "Fucking Roy, You are fucking chef.Oh come on!! Please don't let you down." I saw another chef seasoned lobster something mixture and I couldn't taste anything he added, which meant the mixture needed more ingredients. Anyhow, I didn't say anything about it and the chef upset to him. I just simply don't want to say something like as if I knew everything unless someone asks me, it is just my thing. I helped them to set up the section and did some preps as well. One of black pants chef, only the level is above the sous chef allows to wear black pant at some kitchens, asked me to come to the front of the kitchen where the dishes are served to costumers in the dining room by waiters.

Before I stood at the pass, I tasted several dished. First dish was little bit size of canape. My impression was the small flavorful bites were very pretty. These had every that canape needs, such as size and attractive color. Each bites were pretty good,especially I like that foie gras. Next dish I had was crab wrapped with avocado slices. With some flowers and dills, the dish was very colorful but taste wasn't that flavorful. I guess this dish more emphasized on natural flavor of crab because it had lightly seasoned. However, it was good. I also had today's Amuse. Chapped lobster and some sort of jelly I can't remember what it was, it was came with hot soup so it makes to start the meal warmly in cold winter season.

At the pass, I was watching the service. I'd really prefer doing something to standing at the pass and watching the service. I wanted to be a part of action. Since I wasn't trained to cook the dishes at that kitchen, I had no choice but standing. Eleven Madison park served very interesting food. Three Michelin stars size of kitchen, dining room, service and dishes, yet they haven't had chance to gain even one stars since they opened. Some people carefully said that they used too much sous-vide cooking. As matter of the fact, I saw many ingredients, such as lamb, chicken, beef and fish, were placed in the plastic wrap or pack then cooked in certain temperature. First of all, all the dishes were very detailed and colorful. Second, the some of taste was actually not bad. However, the chicken dish wasn't look so tasteful. Okay, it was nice touch to put some slices of truffle underneath of chicken skin but it was poached. chicken was really white. More likely itself says "I am white meat!" I'd prefer crispy chicken skin. My chef told me the best way to cook chicken is to cook with lot of butter. Butter will make crispy chicken skin and gives extra flavor and moisture. The chicken was as white as white plate. About the lamb dish, it was also wrapped and cooking in water, so it actually dipped it into sauce. By the time the lamb was arrived at the pass, it was already covered with dripping sauces. I tasted a piece. Luckily, the sauce wasn't that too strong enough to cover the lamb flovor that I expected; otherwise I probably couldn't taste meaty. However, I like lamb itself more than sauce.

Executive Sous chef,Fabien Beafour, asked me what my specially is. Frankly, I don't have my color yet. I'm still developing. I said I don't have any specialty yet I like to cook french food. A few minute later, he brought me a couple eggs, a red onion and mushroom and asked me to make French Omelet. The first word in my mind was "Shit!" and "Really?" I really didn't want to do it. At the first day, I don't want to make embarrass myself, yet I didn't have any choice and the time was ticking, I had a half hours. Another condition was that I could use anything in the kitchen. Well, I have made omelet before for myself and someone who woke up with me. It could be my excuse but I have only done the omelet at the cooking school. I knew it is basic. Learning the cooking in Korea absolutely didn't help me to cook something beside knife skills. My brain was busy. I just had Iron chef challenge. Today's menu is French Omelet which using the main ingredients of red onion, mushroom and egg. Okay French Omelet, how the fuck I cook it? Indeed, what the fuck is French omelet? Shit, I don't want to be judged by cooking something I've never done and heard before in front of someone. Anyway, I tried. I needed non-stick pan but I couldn't find. As i expected, ordinary pan couldn't help me to make omelet so my plan B was scramble egg. Cooked it and served to the black pants chefs. They tasted it and then disappointed. Chef Fabien even told me he will tell me how to cook French omelet or something if I came back to kitchen next time. Well, sound good but I overheard he was talking about me in the locker room with other chefs. That made me really sham about myself. It was really shock.

Past over 8 years of cooking wasn't absolutely nothing. I Knew my former training wasn't that rich and seasoned. I knew I have to study hard and work hard. My problem is this; I love something but I only love it. I don't push myself hard and put much effort to reach the goal. My conclusion is this it was good experience to be at Eleven Madison Park. However, the kitchen wasn't where I want to work. Big kitchen has sometimes better benefit than small kitchen. Although it has more spaces, less hours work and stress, perhaps, I have to work one job every day. What I like is I want to multi-play at the kitchen. I believe I am a fast learner. I could adjust easily. Another word, if I could every sections in the kitchen, I could be a better chef. The final words, I remember my chef told me if someone start cooking with sous-vide, the person can cook only with that, yet cooking not all about the sous-vide.

Chef Fabien saw my little card and then said why I put the title of chef since I am yet to be chef who couldn't make even egg dish. My answer was this "I am actually qualified chef in Korea and I want to be a chef so I called my self as a chef." At that time, I couldn't make French Omelet to him, but one day, I became a masterful chef, I will serve him same dish in my restaurant and ask him how it was.