Probably Last night at CIA

mmm, I feel really weird right now while I am writing this. Fuck, the school pretty much kicked out me only because I don't have money to study!! I've never been a trouble boy. I party hard but I always believe the party make me strong and stronger. Like now, I also like to stay by myself. The time for myself. I need it! I asked Doug to help me , so he came today. I thought all my stuff could be in a pick-up truck, but all my damn all my stuff couldn't fit in; it was only half of it. OMG, What should I do..., I was thinking for a while. I was going to reload all my stuff. The one thing bothered me was how to put all my stuff in the pick-up truck since the truck was over loaded. I was looking for RD soon as i figured that I can't move all my stuff today. I was looking for RD, so I went to the office. She wasn't there. I go upstairs to her room, but she wasn't there. I actually knocked the door for a while. I went back to the office, and then knocked the door. No answer. I wanted to try again up stair, so I went back the room, knocked the door again. There was still no answer from inside. I said myself, "Please work with me baby, please", "They wanted to get out so I want to get out". I went back the office. Guess what? the trolley I borrowed earlier so I had to give back, but the card was gone. I was a little bit in panic. I've been drinking for two days. I want to keep in drunken. The little panic almost woke me up. The funny thing was I had no idea what should I do. I walked back to my dorm room. I saw her, but I wasn't sure she was the RD, I think she wasn't sure either. When we passed by, she said "I took the trolley back to the office," and I said "Thank you" and said, "I still have more stuff in my room to move, so can I move out tomorrow?" we made every thing clear by saying, "when I move out meet another RD after 10 am and check out." I am almost done. Even more weired now.
Now, I am at Doug's room to drink together. he helped out today, so I bought some beer for him. I begged him to help me again tomorrow. I persuade him to buy his lunch and beer tomorrow. Fucking finally, he accepted my offer.
One more day at the school. I really don't want to leave here. Since I don't have any choice but leaving, I really don't know what to do. People asked me what is my plan after all. I like to say "No plan is the plan", and "Simply live the fucking life. We live to die. That is all about the life. Enjoy the life, you have only one life. Now, I can't study at the school, but I can come back soon as I have some money to pay.
Now, I need a job really badly. I need to be into something, no drunken but passion. I think I've sent my resume to fifties to sixties restaurants and hotels all around world. I got nowhere end, so what I ever I do, I think I can do better than anyone else.
I want to stand up strongly and independently by myself. I want to be a bad boy to be the best. I am not a good son to my mom and a brother for my sister. I yelled at them because I could do what I want to do. I promised me to study hard, so did. I got average 3.00 GPA, not too great but still good for 29 years old and ten years experiences chef. I was getting better as matter of the fact. I am proud myself often because I did good sometimes. When I found myself confidence, I do very well. I was getting there but, I have to leave. Even though I want to study to be better, I now worked hard to get better. There is no promise to go back to CIA. As long as I have some money to study, I might come back. I still have no idea what to do. There are many thing to come up. As Dough said, enrolled community college keep maintain the visa. I guess that would would work. Only the problem is how to manage the money. I don't want to be an illegal alien. I want to stay here because I always have something to do, not playing around.
I am completely moving out tomorrow. After than, there is no class schedule in my mind. That is bull-shit. I gotta found something to do. I need it desperately.

Past a month

I've been cooking all day long, I feel a lot confidence in the kitchen... I've been too busy that I haven't look at my blog. I don't know how many people see this blog even though I still hear my friends told me she or he saw my blog another day. I feel great about. People would know about me better, and I can share something in here, right?
The time is almost 2 am Monday morning. I was supposed to study by now for second quiz today. I really fuck up the first quiz so I wanted to study hard but I have some trouble with constraining study but I can't do when I sit at the desk. When I in the kitchen my concentration is almost 100%, but not with books. It's funny. Anyhow, I am at one of the best culinary school in the world so if I did best here, I would be the best outside for sure
One day, I had a dream. When I woke up I felt as if I woke up all night long. I felt extremely tired and confused. My brain threw me a question: Is everything you see really real? My dream was taken place somewhere I've never been to; however I was heading to shopping mall to see a movie. The building was brand new building, I went there because I heard there was a good movie cinema just opened. When I entered the building, I saw my classmate Heather, she is my class mate from beginning of the school. She was going to the cinema as well, so we took a elevator to go up. All of sudden, the elevator was stopped and I have to control it manually. We were reached the movie cinema. As most of movie cinema has very clean carpet and good decoration, the cinema was nothing special. It just opened for business so it looked very clean. I got a ticket to the cinema. The hall way to the cinema was dark and somehow it didn't look finished construct working. At the door of the cinema, many people handled a flayer to people and many audiences wanted to go inside to see the movie. When I entered the cinema, I was surprised by a little hill. The place was mess and dirty. There were no sits but a little hill with bunch of papers that marked the sit. I was shocked. I stood over there and didn't know what to do. One guy came to me and said "Is everything you see really real?" I just walk away the cinema. When I left the building, I looked the back. The modern brand new building was gone, but some old building....
Do you thing I had a nightmare or message?

Study Meat

At the meat class, we have to know all these parts of beef. For identification test, our chef pulled out all the meats and went over again for one more time. Some of them easy to recognizable but some others were not. Anyway, I post these pictures on my blog so my classmates can study as well. Let's get everybody A plus for meat ID and Fabrication class!!

-Donation for Education-

LLOYD town NY block party

after I got out from Meat room at CIA, I went to Lloyd town, NY with Doug. Doug found that our

chef, chef Mark Elia, was going to cook something for the town. He has his own shop in this town. He is a hometown boy. He grew up there and still lives there. Dough and I wanted to taste his meat since he is a butcher and our meat class teacher. We both had Pulled Pork sandwich and I also had hot dog with chili. It was good, very homey.

I saw really interesting food on another corner of the block, it was called beer can chicken. Doug told me it was a opened beer can with beer inside stuck inside of chicken's ass before roasting it, mmm very creative...

There was totally new world to me because I've never been any small town in US. The party was placed on only one block, and it seemed to be all the people in town were there. A teenagers band played very well, well enough to make the town people to party people. We were probably the only stranger in town. Fun day... and don't forget "Donation for Education!"

Let's Talk about Food

Click the pictures to enlarge

mmm, past days were so depressing. I almost forgot what my blog is for. Even though this web page is my personal page, I should have written more about food and chefs rather than often saying about what kind of situation that I have. People might get bored with all these stories. That is reason I posted these photos of dishes that I had at Banquet. Food at CIA is quite good. Someone might want to argue with me about that. Well, let me tell you something. You are never going to have up to this quality of food at any collage. Perhaps the dishes could be compared to outside,yet everyone who cooked these dishes was learners, so these dishes are not too bad, right?

The day 8th of April

Now, the time is 12:32, I am sitting in front of my desk to search how to find some money and try to prepare for next week quizes. I haven't got any clear answer about paying the tuition. Everything is very cloudy. There is no sign of sunshine. Like this photo, everthing is unclear but everthing is gone fast. I might be gonna have depression of my life although I've been enjoy to study here. After class and study, another side of my brain always fills with the the word "Money."

Another day, I calculated how much I will need to study at Culinary Institute of America. Freshman threw to Sophomore, each semesters are now $11,690. I planed to continue the study to get Bachelor's degree, so each Junior and Senior semesters required to pay $10,690. Double room will be $2,830 for every single semester. Total amount of only tuition fee and residence hall is $97,640. Since I don't have that much money, and I don't know weather I am able to pay all the education expenses, I don't really feel like to live. I don't mean that I would kill myself. I just couldn't find any point to study even though I really want to study. If i had enough money, I would be happy to study every day but poverty life makes me not to be able to anything. My mother gave up to pay the tuition fee because she couldn't afford it. I asked her to ask anybody to borrow some money, but since my father already had borrowed a lot of money from relative and people around him, my mother rejected my idea. I've been so enjoying here so giving up study right after first semester would break my heart. I knew formal education is only the optional but I want to put myself on advance level. I really don't know what to do. I tried to ask people to be my cosigner but it is tough to ask it. Well, the reason is that most of people that I knew and I have not long enough years to ask this kind of favor. Today is 8th and I only have 22 days to pay one quarter of next semester but I don't have any money. I feel really depressed. While I study, I don't want to have any problem to worry so that I could do better in the academic filed.

I don't know how to contine to study here.... What should I do.... What I can do.... How to live my life....how to raise my education budget.... who could help me........

What I have been doing.....

Past 20 days from last post, I've been really busy, busy for sure since I am actually at the college to study seriously. I started with A block which is for fundamental study of mathematics and writing. I was satisfied to study these and got good grad from both subjects. Now, B block has begun, and I was ready for it since B block is the actual beginning of the culinary study. I just had the first day of B block. After all the schedule of today's classes,I am thinking of past three weeks of my life. I mean my journal of last three weeks. It was hectic schedule. I had to wake up at 7 a.m in order to do some exercises and be ready for the morning class, which was writing. From 8 in the morning to 11:30 was the writing fundamental class, and from 12:45 to 3 p.m was the math fundamental class. Because I always had so much homework and assignments to do, I usually couldn't find my personal time, such as writing on my blog or photographing. I thought that I really had to build strong fundamental knowledge and the subjects were right there to help me, so I tried to focus on what I had to do. As a result, I got A from the math class but B from writing. Grad B from writing was totally disappointment. I do love writing; just like I love to write something on my blog, yet I did better job at math although math wasn't my favorite class. Since the math class was related with culinary world, I could do better because I've done similar things many times in the field. However, writing was pretty much new thing that has been developed inside of me. I did like to write when I was at high school. I even wrote some poems and short stories in Korean. I now stopped speaking Korean so that I wouldn't have any trouble with communicating with other chefs. It just my thing. I believe that if I want to learn new language, I should think, speak and everything in that new language. Anyhow, I'd better working on better writing skill; otherwise, i might not be able to survive in this academic society.

Okay, that was all about my three weeks on the campus. Every weekend, I work at Veritas. I couldn't just back and forth from the school to the restaurant every Saturday and Sunday, so I decided to ask some friends to stay over the Saturday night. I guessed that I could spend some time with friends and save some time and money as well. What I called win-win plan. The reason why is that I could keep up the good relationship with all the friends and, at the same time, I won't be late at the work. As matter of the fact, from the city to the school by train is even more expensive than Metro ride and I would be too tired from train ride back and forth as I believe.

The plan has been doing well. I have stayed a few different my friends' places and had good time with them. The work is usually finish by 11 and can get my friend's place at midnight, but they really welcomed me. The people in that pictures are the people who I really want to thank for everything. They were and are great people. I often have good fortune to have good people around so, luckily, I've never been the dark side of the world.

From the picture, anyone can recognize that what I have been doing so enjoy the picture and have a wonderful day

Dinner for New student

It was better than yesterday. It was look pretty nice and, most importantly, tasty.

First Meal at CIA

Lunch

Dinner

All the classic dishes, it was not bad, though. I would say"The text book dishes."

First day at Culinary Istitute of America

Yesterday, I just moved into the Residence hall at Culinary Institute of America. Yesterday was kind of busy day. In the morning, I was waiting for both UPS and a moving van. I ordered my Brand new Canon Camera. I've wanted to have my own camera for long time, more than 10 years. I loved taking photos when I was a middle school student. I even attended photographing class for my afternoon activity It was fun. I didn't have my camera but my father did. He had a really awesome cool spy camera. I actually saw that camera at the movie '007.' The camera is now as old as I am, though, this camera is very valuable and collectible nowadays. I won't sell this one even though I knew I can get big cash out from this. I haven't seen this camera since I left Korea, but I guess my mom still has it.
Anyway. since I got really cool camera, I had to take some shots on the van for practicing. This is the first time I actually use a Sing-lens Digital Camera. I was thrill to open the package.
By the way, this is a quite story of how I got my package. Well, I saw the package tracking schedule on line. It said that the package had been out for delivery at 8.40 a.m. The Van driver came at 10. He and I moved all my stuff to his van around 10.30. I didn't get my package, though. There was no time for waiting that package, I called UPS. The agent told me I have to wait between 9 a.m to 7 p.m.
How stupid system it is. Don't they work for customer? Why does a customer give up a daily life to wait a god damn package? That is bullshit!! She also said only thing I can do is to wait until package is arrived, so I gave up to wait because I already told Genet my package will be arrived. She knew it and I can pick up from there anytime I want. I give up and told driver to go. Soon as we drive through a half of block, I saw UPS truck at the another block. I asked driver to go there. I saw a UPS guy and asked if he has my package. Luckily, he has it. It was so lucky to receive my package at the very last minute.
I probably took a lot of photos but only these on the video are good pictures, as I believe. So, Enjoy the pictures!
Today is first day of Orientation day. I just got books and ID card and everything I need for studying here. I woke at 6 a.m as very unusual for me. I have little bit of free time before the lunch since I don't have to take the placement test and I can use wireless Internet.
Now, I am hungry and sleepy. I still have about 40 minute before the lunch. I have to murder the time; otherwise, I am probably going to either fall in sleep or hunger to death.