Can't Die so Live....

Nowadays, I couldn't find the meaning of the life. I still don't know what I should do for life. I couldn't find anything what I want to be. I don't have any talent, not at all. I don't know what I am good at. I sometimes have a fantasy of being killed by something, but I am still alive. Which is good thing, right? Whatever, I am afraid of dying. Even if I got illness, I would not go to hospital and spend so much money to cure my body. I simply want to go to in middle of jungle to wait my last day. I don't have much stuffs but I will donate my books to Culinary Institute of America and rest of them to people who needs more than I do. That is probably the last thing I can do someone.