Today is Friday

Yes Today is Friday and from tomorrow ‘till Tuesday is my last shift at Le Verre Vole. Which means it this is my last shows there. Today is the probably last day of not so much worry about doing nothing since I got a job and, three days and a half day, I work ‘till my ass off so, I deserve to do nothing. I like this life. A half of a week is my duty call to cook and rest days of a week is mine. Only the problem is that I like to smoke and drink a lot and three days gave me the chance of unstoppable. I want to control myself so I’ve been doing exercise to build my body and even bought a guitar to spend some time productively but what have I been doing on my off days?



One day, I promised myself to learn French so that I could communicated with others without problems. Because of lack of motivation, I still can’t say what I want to say. Maybe because I know I am not intend to stay in France longer and I know I can’t stay legally. After four more months, I am leaving France for good, moving to other countries to keep searching. The problem with language difference, I became antisocial person. On my day-offs, I usually stay home to write, to drink, to watch something over and over, to listen music and, to play guitar. When I wake up, first thought in my mind is what I should do today. Whereas on my duty days, only thing in my mind is to go working. I got nothing to do and I can’t speak French so I am avoiding the situation that I have to speak French. Therefore, I am usually lock myself in my room. I know I am lonely and all alone. Not like when I started living in Sydney, when I was there, I had many friends to talk and had many friends to hang out. I wanted to live in Sydney as long as I could so, I picked up English really fast. Now?? Only because of the job, I picked up some French but not good enough to talk to someone what I have in my mind.


It’s two in the afternoon, I am still in my pj and drank coffee but not yet to take shower. I might have a plan for tonight but I am not really sure. I am not much exciting about tonight. I probably meet some girls of my friend but I don’t speak French so I can’t really be charm to girls. I might look so stupid that I can’t say anything in French even though I’ve been here for a year. In English, I can butter her up, no fucking problems. I’ve never felt alone at the party before but here, I feel left alone at the party often. I don’t know whom to talk and whom speaks English or Korean. However, I am a very outgoing person. My nick name was party animal. I go clubbing a lot and throw parties a lot, very social person. Nowadays, I feel like I live in my own bubble in Paris. I am with them but not really with them. Perhaps, I might misunderstood that they ignore me so, I ignore them. Some people say that I am like an artist who lives with his own color and sometimes it is hard to understand him. My style is that with them, with them but without them, without them.


I should move my ass. It’s Friday and I should be ready for my last services, planning possible menu and research for what I want to cook. I also want to do some shopping, things that I need such as a tent, a sleeping bag, a back pack, jeans and, shirts. I just want to get ready for my trip. All my things have to me moveable and carry-able. I could have done it before but I’ve been drinking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have alcoholic problem. I just love to drink. Once a while I don’t drink any alcohol but water to sober up so, I am in control, right?? I am fucking lazy ass. Once I post this, I am gonna take shower and get ready to do something outside of my place. It’s Friday. I should be happy even though I have to work tomorrow and just because I have to cook with positive energy. Move my lazy ass to outside of shadow, starting bright my days will bring me happy working days.


“Be happy, be positive, no worries, smile more, love more; that is the way to live my life”