Spent too much time in my room

It’s been 13 years….

That is how long I have been in the kitchen beside the time I used to be a waiter since I was 16 years old. I don’t remember why I wanted to be a chef when I started it. Be frankly, girls loved a guy with cook books when I started cooking. I thought that was break threw to get laid. Only the problems is that past years weren’t my shows. I wasn’t shiny gold to bright up at the front of ladies. Maybe that is the reason I am always cranky, the person who is always not happy.

Whenever I saw a guy with ugly face and looking so fucking so lonely, I asked myself if I am that guy. really?? Why can’t I be a guy that having sex with 100 girls in a year?? Okay, if you think that I am thinking of sex too much, I think you are right. I do think I am sex addicted sometimes. I thought that I could get laid all the times when I become a chef. Yes, cooking for a girl is the most erotic thing the man can do for her. My favorite thing is that wearing nothing but an apron when I cook for a girl. I haven’t had chance, though. I want to do it!





With that basic reason, without thinking of cooking better food every day, I have only been cooking, I guess. I often embarrass by saying “I’ve been cooking for 13 years.”. When I got a big tattoo of my first knife with a sign of ‘Since 1999’, I didn’t want to put it at the first because people will ask me what is the mean by since 1999 and I have to say that is the year when I started cooking. Only the problem would be that people might think my food isn’t good enough for 13 years and wonder what he has been doing all these years. Despite all these fact that I put it with my first knife, I know it will be my wake up call, to say to myself ‘ wake up! You have been cooking since 1999, for god sake, it was fucking last century.’. I think I became more ego to be better and want to swim deep inside of the ocean because I want to swim, not sinking. I can’t really focus on only one thing, even my writing lost the focus time to time, but, if I focus on many things, I became more focused. It probably is the reason of why I have tried many things. Although my cuisine may lose some focus than 100 percent-ers, I am not only a chef. I don’t have any talents. Only talent that I have is to be different. I can’t just follow other people’s style. I like to observe few thing and then alter to my own way. Whatever I do is just me. I want to hear ‘that is Roy’. Now I want to put that in my cuisine.

It was last thing I cooked for Le Verre Vole

Slow Roasted & Herb Crushed Pork 

Drunken Photography

Today is Friday

Yes Today is Friday and from tomorrow ‘till Tuesday is my last shift at Le Verre Vole. Which means it this is my last shows there. Today is the probably last day of not so much worry about doing nothing since I got a job and, three days and a half day, I work ‘till my ass off so, I deserve to do nothing. I like this life. A half of a week is my duty call to cook and rest days of a week is mine. Only the problem is that I like to smoke and drink a lot and three days gave me the chance of unstoppable. I want to control myself so I’ve been doing exercise to build my body and even bought a guitar to spend some time productively but what have I been doing on my off days?

Loving someone…

For me loving someone is so hard. First of all, I don’t know how to love someone but, only how to make love to her. I do have many loving friends who I love from deep inside of my heart. Many of them, just because every individual lives in different countries and world, it is often hard to keep in touch each other. However, my friends know me how much I love them and miss them. That could be the reason I can stand up in this world and not feel much about being left alone. Anyhow, This love isn’t what I want to say. I want to talk about love between a lady and a gentleman.

My last Summer Dish:

Onglet beef with Confit Tomato, Roasted Multi color Beet, Green puree and mushroom puree

The meaning of life

Life is tough and rough. It is like driving on off-road. I had been threw a death experience, parent divorce, death of my father, depression from not improving my skills and knowledge of my career and, hard times to get a job where I want to be belonged. Sometimes, I thought that hard time always gave me the reasonable answer to why I should continue what I do now. I have been 12 year of culinary field, plus I grew up at my parent restaurants before I actually made my mind to be a cook.

It is still so funny that why I started cooking for life. I had no interested of good eatery or something good in my mouth. I still do eat instant ramen often because it actually brought the memories of the ramen that it was actually good food when I grew up. I didn’t mean I was living with poor family. Despite of the fact that, my childhood neighborhood was the last part added to the capital city and the area was full of working class families. I was one of the luckiest one since my parent owned a restaurant and I didn’t have to worry about being hungry. The restaurant was my home and my playground. Especially, I love to be in the kitchen watching how the food had been made. My father wasn’t a chef when he open a Korean-Chinese restaurant. My father wasn’t rich or didn’t have any dreams about what he wanted to become. He stepped the restaurant business by working as Chinese restaurant delivery boy. With that experiences that he had, he got married to my mom and opened a restaurant in capital city to raise their children within capital city education system.

Naked Talk

I remind you one thing. There is a reason to be named “Rate R” for my blog. I am a dirty talker, okay?? I frankly use “F-word” a lot. There is a lady asked me why I often use a such bad word as fuck. My answer was “First of all, I love to fuck and as a resolute, I love to say ‘fuck’”.

Okay, I will get to the point why I titled “Naked Talk”. I believe that a girl and a boy can be any more truthful when they both get naked on the bed and talk each other while they both look at each other. If there is any rejection, I will tell you that you have never done so, try it what else to lose? Naked talking is the most wonder full way and strong way to bond together. I love the moment of talking each other or simply looking at her as much as having sex with her.

Paris, the city I want to stay

This photo is one of my favorite photo that I shoot. Paris is really wonderfully city, especially in Black and white. This city is to live, not to leave. After a few months later, I am going to leave this city to explore other side of France in order to find real French cuisine. I will miss Effel Tower. Effel Tower is the most noticeable that makes me realize I am actually at Paris. Furthermore, I love to take shots at it with others in Paris.

Paris, I am telling you. It’s been wonderful time to be with you and at you. One more thing is that I will miss you and you will always make me to come back to you. I want to speak French and I want to be here again. However, I also think I belong  to New York where I feel more likely to fit into.  I am getting old and I am in my 30s. I am not sure whether I can come back here to live again but, if there is any chance to me back here again, I will grab it without having second thoughts because I LOVE PARIS!

Series of my Cuisine

24 hours slowly braised Lamb shoulder in Red Wine with Parsnip puree, Chinese artichoke, Chips of Carrot selections and Green herb salad

First Story after re-new web address- leftover story

I’ve been living nearly a year, now. When I left New York and Korea to come here, I didn’t really plan anything and even it was kind of last minute decision. The whole reason of coming here was to find out what is all about real French cuisine. I want to have a base of French cuisine. Yes, I want to create my own cuisine on top of concreted French cuisine knowledge.


When I look back my past days of living and working at Paris, even though I had many struggles and rough days, I truly believe it was the good choice that I made for my life. I become more confidence and creative of my job. I’ve never thought about developing my own creation to Parisians and people from all around world. A small and casual wine bistro “Le Verre Volé” was the first main stage out of Korea for me. It’s been my shows there. I’ve been growing inside and outside. I became eager to do my job. In other words, I might be aggressive sometimes at the kitchen yet, that is because I love my job so much and I want to do my job right and taste good.

End of next month I have to leave the restaurant due to visa. I don’t have any regrets of leaving but, the experience gave me strong desire of having my own stage to create my own cuisine. What is my next step?? I am going to travel around world to discover the all the cuisine that I want to know more and the cuisines of great chefs to absolve into my cuisine. It will take me 1 year to do and I probably need a lot of money to travel. I don’t think there is no problem to keep on my plan. Though, I wish I own a car because I can travel easy and carry my stuffs in the car. Although I don’t have much savings to have any luxuries, I believe I could do some works for cash, such as cooking for money or a bed. I also can take photos for any special occasions. Currently, I’ve been practice guitar so, I could be a street musician. This blog might help me to continue my plan. Anyway, I can do anything for money and learn cuisines without earning.

I’ve been sending emails to arrange to do learning experiences. My master plan is getting clear and clear. I will spend more time in South France to find out real French cuisine until End of May. Belgium will be next a month. There is a restaurant I want to be and I am getting an answer to be there. My summer will be at England, working at some different restaurants and attending at a music festival. I hope that I would get to a restaurant in Denmark which is considering as world number one restaurant. Otherwise, I will probably stop by other cities in Europe to meet my friends who can show me the local cuisine and experience local life there. Whether I get to Denmark or not, I will visit my friends in Europe and Asia.

I am still searching for the option of going to Asia without getting on air plane since I am not in rush to go anywhere I want to go. My first plan was to go Moscow to get on 7 days train trip to cross the Russia and then ferry to Japan and Korea. Another hand, I want to go Turkey, Israel, India, Thai and, Singapore as well so, I should get on the train to get threw all these countries. If there is anyone can give me any information about it, I would be appreciate for it.

I am going to keep writing about my journey and I hope everyone enjoy with my stories

my blog is finally re-opend with new name

Rated R means that everything here is my own style. New attetude and new name will make me to work more on my work

Slow Walking

Sometime, any person needs to walking slowly in order to catch the breath and think of how far has been threw. Well, I've been running. I want to reach the top so bad that I've never thought anything carefuly and wisely. That is why need to walk slowly even though I really didn't want to waste even one minute.
Now, I am just waiting to get hired somewhere where I desire to work. I've sent a lot of letter to all the finest restaurant in the world and hotels. Meanwhile, I am going to work whatever I got to save some money. So far, I got nothing to work. I feel like I am usless junk, but since I spend more time with my family and my friend, no one actually complain of me staying home alone.
I hate not to have any job because I feel like I am not capability to do absolutly anything.
Wherever wants me to work there, I will pack my lugguage. Untill then, I am still a freelancer, perhaps...

Depression

Currently, I am a unemployee. If I wasn't live with my mom in Korea, I would have been a homeless somewhere. I had a job as a head chef. It was good but it wasn't good as i thought, so I left. People might think I don't have much patient that I couldn't even stay at least one year. Maybe right and maybe wrong, however I don't regret the decision. I only think it wasn't smart move. Since I left the job, I got a lot of time to think many things, and I realized that I've never had any smart move, just like this time.
I probably look for high jump, yet the height isn't reachable. I should step by one step so that I could reach the goal I've been dreaming. What am I now? I am a nothing, just any trash in the bin.
Nowadays, I think myself as a non-name rock singer. Even though I have a guitar, and I know how to sing, I got nowhere to explore myself. Just like that, I got all these kinds of knives and I knew how to cook, there is nowhere I can step in. Perhaps, due to high expectation of becoming a "name" chef, I couldn't find where I should belong to.
The stage of Korea isn't the place. Many Korean chefs have lack of passion and professionalism. As matter of the fact, there way too many ingredients are unavailable and too expensive. Plus that, many Koreans are yet to enjoy the fantasy world of cuisine. That is the reason why I should turn my head to overseas.
When I was in Sydney, I met fresh herb and so many ingredients. I met many great chefs when I was in New York. I want to be there again. Anywhere where I can learn and earn; furthermore where I can step up to next level, I want to go for it.
The only thing that bugging me is that I don't have enough money to do anything, so what should I do? This question drives me nut and makes me depressed.