days...

It's been busy weeks and days. Well, I wasn't that busy, though. Only my schedule is busy and working at the kitchens was busy. From Friday to Monday, I'm at Veritas and rest of week, Tuesday to Thursday, is for Anthos. I like both restaurants. Each restaurant has different cuisine and ingredients since Veritas is very classical French and Anthos is modern Greek. Even though the hours at Veritas is at least 10 hours per day, it's been enjoyable to work there. One very interesting thing is that I haven't seen any chef use so much Foie Gras, Truffle, and Caviar. Chef Gragory has really good knowledge of use these ingredients to blend with many other things, like a magical potion.
Anthos is also a good place to work; people are nice and menu is very interesting. only one trouble is that I don't have regular schedule because Chef de Cuisine, Constantin (I hope the spell is right), couldn't have chance to talk the owner and Chef, Chef Constantine call me sometimes when he needs extra help. I am not officially, hired yet. Since he graduated CIA and liked how I work in the kitchen, I always have a chance to work there as long as he needs my hands. I was supposed to work yesterday and today at Anthos. I've been waiting for a phone call from Anthos, yet I guess he doesn't need me this week. Well, people always said "looking at bright side." The bight side of this week was that I actually have a little vacations for three days, so I have time for my lady. She will leave New York next month. Since I've been working so many hours, I couldn't spend time with her much. Last two days, she was happy to be with me all day long. Today, I have a surprise for her. I knew that she will not have a chance to see this blog until midnight so it is okay to write on blog about my plane for tonight. Three weeks ago, I booked a dinner reservation at Gilt, which is two Michelin starred restaurant. Fancy fine dining but romance place for young couple, of course for everyone, was the reasons to pick this place. I gave a few clues of where we going to have a dinner, but she still has no idea for tonight. I just told her to wear something nice. I believe tonight is going to be a best night for us.
It's been while to write something on my blog due to fact that I always tired and had to stay with her after work. After I came home, we always talk each other for couple hours, talking about the day we had. I sometimes so tired and had to do something, so I couldn't pay attention what she was talking about. She really hate me when I act like that. I really tried not to do like that, but it happened. Sorry baby, I will try harder.
I think I am really a workaholic. Without doing absolutely nothing for two days made me to look for a job on Craiglise.org again and think about doing something. I guess too tight with my pocket so I am not feel comfortable to being nothing. I wish I could have a relax off duty day without worrying about anything. My day is just started now. Nothing is related me with Jesus's B-day tomorrow, yet, what the hell, it's holiday!! Loving and Giving is all about the day. That is what I got to do with my lovely lady.

Two restaurants on Saturday

Every first weekend of the month, several New York museums offer Bank of America account holders to free admission, so I promised my lady to take her to museum. On the free museum list on Bank of America website, we had to choose one among the five of them: Metro art, Natural History, Bronx Zoo, Aquarium, Science hall and National Photography. Beside Metro Art, non of them was interested because she and I like art. Since I could save some money, I asked my lady to go to brunch restaurant. However, to choose the restaurant, I concerned a few conditions; first the restaurant was introduced by well-known guide book, such as New York Magazine or Michelin Guide. Second, the price have to be reasonable. Last, the restaurant should be nearby the museum. There were many restaurant around MET but most of them are pretty much pricey due to fact that the area is one of rich town in New York.

Eventually, I found one that satisfied all the condition that I mentioned. I found it on New York Magazine website. The restaurant is called Metisse, a French Bistro in Upper West Side. Although the restaurant wasn't close from the museum, it was still close from our place. On the website, I couldn't find many restaurants that I can choose from; nevertheless, I did remember that I saw some looking good restaurants when I walked on the Broadway to down town. I am a French cuisine chef, so I love to have some French dishes for Saturday brunch. When I check the menu at Metisse, the price was surprisingly cheap and reasonable. It was almost friendly neighborhood bistro as long as the taste is right.

When we got there, we were waiting at the door to sit. Two servers very busily ran around in the dinning room. One waterless saw us and said we could take a table wherever we want. They looked like busy and it was not a big deal to choose a table for us by ourselves at that time, yet some other problems kept coming likes water keep running out of a whole in the pipe. The table we sat wasn't ready for customers, unfortunately. In fact, I didn't realized that until I actually grab the table. A couple of minute later, a waiter came to us to set the table and give us menu. Guess what I found, I found a long hair between a napkin and a side dish. I told him and he looked very surprised. in the dining room, there were around 15 t0 20 customers and only two servers without a floor manger; therefore service was as slow as snail race. One good thing was that we had "plenty" of time to choose what to eat. A waitress, i guess she couldn't speak English much, did not explain the menu for us. Also, she didn't ask me how I want my egg. My girl was little bit up upset about my complaint about the food service here because all she wanted was to have nice meal with me.

Once I got my dish, by the way I ordered lamb sausage with potato and egg, the dish was quite messy. I understood that the restaurant I went wasn't fine dining, it's a casual bistro. However, every single dish that is served in the restaurant is supposed to be neat and clean on the plate, that is how I understood of restaurant business. In other words, they forget the fundamental. About the taste, egg was alright, egg is egg anyway. Potato, was sauteed with onion and capsicum, was very ordinary and average food. Four pieces of thinly sliced whole wheat bread was neither toasty nor tasty. Sausage was very tiny. these two piece of sausage looked like two baby penises, sorry I don't want to describe anything with a particular body organ but it really looked like that. All together, it wasn't satisfied my stomach or tong. As matter of fact, everything that I experienced in the restaurant ruined wonderful brunch time with my lovely lady.

After 5 hours of the museum trip, we had to find a good restaurant to feed our hungry stomachs. Since we didn't have any device, such as a laptop, to find information, we had to figure out the idea of dinner from our brains. Mandoo Bar was the first restaurant came to our mind. We remembered some media introduce the restaurant. I do like Korean Mandoo, so does my lady. In my childhood, my grand mother often made the most delicious Mandoo, especially with Kimchi. I think that is the only one Korean dish I really like and often want to have.

When we got there, the restaurant was packed with hungry customers. We had to wait but glass window kitchen was really good entertain to watch. Mandoo was very skillfully made; everything was same size and organized. One thing, I would like to point out is that they should not use any plastic bags to keep the food due to absolutely unprofessional and unhygienic to be shown. After we got a table, we ordered Kimch Mandoo, Seafood Mandoo, and appetizer size of Korean spicy soup. Mandoo was as good as its famous. The filling was good beside sesame oil, it has very strong smell and taste that it can almost cover all the flavor, and the dough was little thicker than I used to have from my granny; a simple formula: too think = too chewing. Anyway, everything was enormously enjoyable. After finishing all the dishes, we were still hungry for more. While we were eating, we saw a server mixed Bibimbab; a Korean rice dish that mixed with all the vegetable, meat and spicy sauce, with very experienced hand movement. It was quite good entertaining for customers. We also saw another waiter mixed the dish in the front of customer, yet I think he needs more time to practice to be similar as the experienced waiter. We wanted to see how he mix in front of our table, so we ordered and prayed for that the skillful waiter would mix our dish. The pray was came true!! Not only the dishes that we had was good, but the table service was also friendly and satisfied. That is the restaurant I want to go again.

On Saturday, we had two different restaurant, a good example of Korean dishes and a bad experience of French dish. Even though I usually like to give one more chance to the restaurant before I established the worst restaurant, Metisse wasn't good enough to have another chance. They need a lot of work to be good enough to attract local people, in my opinion. Mandoo Bar was a succeed case of the possibility of Korean restaurant and I like there.

Mandoo Bar: 2 W 32nd St.

Mettise: 239 W 105th St.

About yesterday- Chinese Take-away shop & McDonald

Yesterday.... Well, I was so hungry after I walked for over 100 blocks because of no money. It was not that easy, but not that hard either. Last Summer, Suzie and I walked more than 100 blocks for daily exercise, it was pretty good, though. Anyway, I only had two dollar when I left to Comedy club so that I can find out whether I can earn some money. I think I was quite stupid. I thought that I could work right away. That is why I didn't have enough money in my pocket and walked for over 100 blocks. When Peter, Family Guy, was trying to buy his own gloves he said "I am so stupid." I felt same way once I started walking in the streets.

Back home, I was so exhaust and hungry. You know that feeling, right? You are hungry and sleepy same time, but you don't know what to do first. My choice was decided once I melted in the bed.
Hunger woke me up. My tommy kept saying me to feed. I was thinking about what options I can have. The usual choice is local Chinese Take-Away food due to cheapest food that I can get around my place. HO LEE is one of the restaurant that I like; cheap and good taste, what else I need more? When I was live at 190th street, there is a Chinese restaurant on St. Nicolas Ave, between 191st and 190th streets. They make really good fried rice. Even though my girl doesn't like any Chinese food, she liked the fried rice from that restaurant. Once I moved to 158th street. To find good fried rice around the new place have taken some risk, I said that because I have spend my money to find one. Ho Lee was a new Chinese restaurant in town when I found it. When I ordered and tasted the food, it was pretty good, it didn't have that heavy feeling from ordinary Chinese food and too greasy either. Since I tasted something good, I often ordered. Yesterday, I ordered LEE HO's fried rice one again.

I took out eight DVDs from Mid-Manhattan library. I watched several DVDs until late night. I sometimes get easily hungry middle of night. The time was 1:30 A.M. Even if HO LEE was opened until that hour, I would not order again. Luckily and unluckily, McDonald was right next the apartment building. I don't know why Maggy, that is how we call in Australia, don't have the menu of Angus Bugger. I like that one. Angus bugger could the best menu I haven't had at Maggy. Somehow, they don't sell any more. My midnight snack choice was Quoter Pound. Only one bite of the bugger, I tasted wholly shit piece of the bugger. In other words, in informal words, it was absolutely fucking shit. Because I have not had Maggy for a while and was looking for quick bite, I went there. I think it was mistake, totally. From last night, I said myself I will not have that shit piece of bugger again. I remember that one of CIA, Culinary Institute of America, alumni is a chef at McDonald. Even though a chef was well educated, the company is shit; therefore the food is still shit. I am sorry to tell ya, but that is true. I want that chef cooks for me, or everyone, at McDonald. If so, I will go there every day to have bugger as long as the taste was right.

Hunger for better food....

Nowadays...

It's been one month since I've been looking for a job to survive in New York. Fucking tough. So far, nothing goes well. All the money in my pocket have became emptied, probably only dust left. I don't know but I feel little bit blue today. Last a month, I might have sent around 100 emails to the people who need a chef or any general worker, yet I am the only one shouting without someone shouting back. I don't, I can't, want to blame anyone about my situation because I choose to stay here before starting to study. I've been staring at Cragslist.com everyday so that I will not miss any job ad. Soon as I saw something that I want to, I sent a email right away. There are many job openings, but I don't how many job is opened for me. Living the life without doing absolutely nothing is terrible and depressed. I got to find something to do!! and earn some money!!

I just got phone call from a Comedy club. They are currently looking for people to sell the tickets. Although I don't know whether I can do it, I guess I'd better give a shot! Who knows I might have a talent to sell the tickets, right??

Fuck, I am a chef but what I am doing now. I think I should do this job to make money and I should work around the Michelin starred restaurant to learn some skills.

Mmm, I hope everything goes well. The luck, that is what I need

Finally First Day of December

The First day of December, damn I have another three month to enter Culinary Institute of America. Fuck, I don't know what I can do for three months. I truly don't know what to do... When I saw this Adidas commercial on television, I aways feel like I deadly want to have a party like them; The Party Like Rock Star! I can't have a party like that for sure while unemployed, though I wanna... It is suck that nobody is hired me. All my ex-bosses like me. I might look like either a punk or funk or dumm. Today, I went to Riverdale and Manhattan ELS center to give my business card to tell people I want to work for them seriously, but I felt really good today. Everyone welcomed me so much. Especially Suzanna, my English teacher in Riverdale, warmly hugged me, so does Anna, Kindra, and Franchis. They are very nice teachers. I love them all. They really teach the students with hearts, I believe that. I felt really shine to say I want to work for them, so I just say like everything is alright even though it is. Poor life is suck. Everyday, I am having struggle with money. Even one penny needs to count. For next three month, I will be having a hard time to ask some money from my mother. I am fucking twenty-eight, but still nobody. I hate that feeling. Since I stared chef career, I've had many hard times so does everyone. Many people said that I have a talent of cooking. My girl is my huge fan of my cooking because I put extra love, ha ha. It's been fun with cooking for my girl. Perhaps my girl was a guinea pig for me. Whatever I mad, even though if was not good at all, she always eat for me and dish wash. That is what we both feel that gaining some weights, funny, uh? Back to what I said, I have been asking people to hire me. The relationship between teachers and a student could be the clients and a chef. I like that sound. When ever we cooked together, we could talk about past. As some people said I speak very well with people, I might be alright with new clients, I mean I have to be. While I was on the subway to Riverdale, I thought about what I can do for my clients. For teaching and advising the cooking, I will charge them $15 to $20. For cooking for them, I will charge for each person. About the cooking and testy food, I have to have my signature dishes, something that only I can do. My soup and roast meats are the most favorite menus of my friends. Dessert is the least favorite food, I think I always failed to make it, but I love to make this when everything goes well. What I have to do is I need more study. A couple month ago, I bought some books about molecular gastronomy and food science, so I have some books to be much knowledgeable. Any business has always been tough time to put everything is smooth. Mmm, I have a party this Wednesday night at Star Lounge, so I probably have a really good time with dance. I got to have a party like Rock Star. That is why I need my people to come with me and party with me. I think it's the time to go sleep. I really want to sleep without thinking about I am going to do for next three month. Sleep early tonight and sleep early tomorrow, that I what I need nowadays. Party up!! Let's forget about everything while we are dancing together!!
Anyway, the day was good. I met my people at two different places. At the Manhattan center, I met some old friends, so I told them to come to the party and about what I do nowadays. Everyone said they will come. There is a teacher who is a rapper as well, Daric. By the way, I like his songs, very cool bit. He will have his concet. That sound awesome. Yeah!! More party!! So, I don't have to worry anything. Simply be crazy about something that I like. Am I cazy? Anthony will say "Yes you are."

Business Card

Finally, I got my own business card. Perhaps, I don't need it for now since I haven't started study at CIA. The reason I put CIA on my card was to show people I will soon to be study there. But, the one thing I should have written "Student" next the "Chef," yet I totally didn't think about it; thus, it looks like as if I am a chef at CIA.

Anyway, I got this one with very good deal. 250 copy of this cards and a card holder was for absolutely free. The only charge that I had to pay was the shipping charge. I ordered this one last Monday night and selected the delivery in 7 days; $15.50 while 20 days is $5.50. Guess what? I got yesterday. I expected the package would come next week because that is what I paid for, but it came in only 5 days. How good, isn't it?

Since I have my own card, my plan is this; to visit all the Michelin starred restaurant in order to give my card and say "Here is my card, could give this card to the chef and say that my name is Roydon K. Kim? I am also a chef who looks for a great working experiences at Michelin starred restaurants, so if the chefs needs me anytime, call me at the number or email on the card. In fact, he can find myself on my blog. Thank you."

Even though I have over 8 years experiences of my career, I am still hungry for more experiences. I've seen amazing Michelin starred chefs skills and dishes. I want to have it so badly. I want to exactly do what they do. I want to have a restaurant similar quality as they have.

The one best thing about chef is very creative. I can create what I want to. Every chef has him or hers own style. Many chefs said that more experiences will give me my own style. That is what I am searching for and why I want to get a job at Michelin starred kitchen.

Job Job Job

mmm, I posted my job-wanted ad on Craiglist.org another day. Well, people sent me emails to propose the job offer, but the mail i got was more like scamp to me. One of mail actually offered me $700 per month. The only thing that I have to do was whatever the boss asked me to send something to the boss's client, I simply do. The owner also said I only have to work for one to tow hours per day and any time I want to and at home. Sound funny, isn't it? It doesn't seem like a real job. Anyway I asked the person if I can have specific information in order to understand the job better. What I got to do at the begin is to buy a business check from the store which costs $50 as the person said. Since the person asked me to buy a check and I only have to do is to send that checks to the clients, I figured out that if I have to write a check, I must sign it, right? Which meaning is if anything happened, I could have to take all the blames. I really don't like to use the checks. I heard so many stories about fake check. Because of the money was good, I almost took the position. I remember the one thing that I like; Earning money after hard working is always better than anything, the sound like as if I am a old school. Well, for the money, I have to care about all the bullshit job offers.
Every one should be careful when you choose the job and don't trust anyone said that they will pay you $700 per month for sending checks. That is totally bullshit!!!!

Looking for a job

Since CIA accepted me, I started looking for a job with little bit of risk, well I won't tell about it. Anyway, it's been tough to get even a phone call from the companies or restaurants. So far, no one interesting my experiences and offers. I have to stand up by myself but I am not still able to because money is not from my hard work. From desiring to make enough money, I am looking for any job that I can possibly handle it. My good friend asked me a job offer from his friend. He said the owner looks for servers who can speak both Korean and English. I probably qualified the position since I am still a Korean, yet I dislike to speak Korean. That is why I don't live in Korea and I don't write this blog in Korean. Thus, I asked him again if I have to work at Korean restaurant and wait for his answer. I guess Korean restaurant looks for a Korean servers. I have about three months but I don't want to wast that time. If I have some money, I would attend some English classes in order to improve English ability and have some money to spend while I study at CIA. Money, Money and Money, I want to ignore all theses things but I still have to deal with it since I am living in that society. God damn it! I simply want to be a hippie. Living with or in nature could be better life than urban life. Why I can not live without carrying money in my pocket? I believe, "No money, No worry!" Oh well, I guess I've been criticism because I have neither a job nor money. I want to beg somebody to hire me.
I WANT TO WORK SOMEWHERE SO THAT I CAN EARN SOMETHING!!! Sometimes I hate my situation, fuck. Cross my fingers to be hired!!!

While I am waiting to enter CIA.....

Well, I really want to make some money so that I don't have to ask my family some money all the time. Since I started to study in New York, my life has became very miserable. Because of America immigration law doesn't allow international student to work without university or college permit, I only had to study when I attend at ELS, ELS is only the private language school so it is not count as actual school that can permit students to work on or off campus. Last one year to bring up my ability of English to be able to study at CIA, I spent enormous money. My only one sponsor, my mother, have complained than I wasted so much time and money to study only English. If someone used to live in English-speaking country for several years, the person can speak English fluently without any trouble; that is what my mother's belief and that is why I had so much trouble with her because she disagreed with me to study only English. On the other hand, I've been too lay back to study. I could have done better if I pushed me much hard. I think I didn't make so much effort to complete the courses sooner, though. I deserve what my mother angry at me. All my saving and my mother's money have spent for study. Now that my saving was hit the button long time ago and financial crisis has effected my mother's business; as a result, my mother has less money than before, that is not enough to economically support me. Therefore, my bottom line is that I have to make some money in order to be financial independent from my mother, also I don't need to ask my mother some money. I have about three month before I enter CIA. Three month won't be enough to earn enough money for tuition, yet the money could be enough for all my expenses.
If there is anyone who want me to cook for you, please, you can call me two or three weeks, at least a week before; otherwise we both didn't have time to plan anything. You can have a nice dinner party with your people, and I could earn some my education budget.

What should I do?

Last Friday, I went to CIA, Culinary Institute of America, to take COMPASS test and chat with international student advisor. First, the test was fine. It wasn't hard than I thought, especially the mathematics section. I was quite excited about being at CIA; famous TV chef Julia Child said that CIA is the Harvard of Culinary school. In fact, there are many great chefs went there to complete the advance level of culinary world. I am still thrilled to study at CIA. To study at CIA could be my big step of chef career. With the degree from CIA, I could work anywhere in the world, that is what i believe. Maybe too much expectation, yet many alumni have proved the great advance of studying at CIA. I've wanted and planned since I stepped into the first kitchen. The campus is absolutely gorgeous. Thinking of how many culinary school itself has library, dormitory and restaurants in one place. Nobody could find even one easily because CIA the only culinary school has all the facility that similar quality as any other university. For example, Le Cordon Bleu could be the oldest cooking school in the world; it was established in early 20 century. It also has so many locations in the world, so many students have conveniently study wherever they want to, which is the greatest advance of LCB. However, not many people know that LCB was originally the cooking school for house wives who can't cook. Nine months of study about classic French cuisine might help some students who just began to be the chef. From my research of cooking school, LCB teaches no more than cooking beside LCB hotel school in Adelaide in Australia. While CIA offers bachelor's and associate degree, LCB only offers completion degree. I thought I would go to both school to study more about my career. Since I have limited budget and CIA has better system than others, I had to gave to study at LCB, but I don't regret that.
Anyway, the admission officer told me I can only possibly enter the school in March. Now is November and I have more than three months left before March. In this case, I should go back to Korea so that My mother and I could save some money before spending so much money for study. The only problem is that I don't want to go back to Korea. Moreover, I hate to be trapped in the situation that I have no choice whether I hate or not. Living in Korea doesn't help me to improve my English and cooking skills. I got to find more options that I could avoid going to Korea and need less budget. The options I could find was freelancer travel writer, volunteer work at farm, and working in New York. The travel worker is quite temped position since it provide good money and I could only travel around. The problem is my writing skill. English is still my second language and I probably have lack of writing skill even though I love writing. In fact, I don't ensure whether editors could pay for my journal. About volunteer work, I find many programs for that, such as farming, building, and teaching. Well, if I were native English speaker, I could teach English anywhere. Sadly, I am not. Volunteer programs tend to have to be paid for everything, with my light pocket, I got to omit these options as well. Helping the farm in New Zealand is the one I like. Working for them four to six hours to stay at their house is the biggest advance of this program. I love farm and farming. I believe this is the fundamental of every cooking. Only problem is air fare. To fly from New York to Auckland during busy season was freaking expensive, even much pricey than going back to Korea. If I could, I want to work in New York, but it is really risk as a student visa holder. I have no right to work for now. I guess the US government wants to protect its citizens' job. What I want to ask to New president Obama is to allow student visa holder to work that they don't have to struggle with financially supporting their education.
Nowadays, I want to work. I want to do something that can produce some living expenses. I am almost flat broken, so is my mother. I need money to study and a job to support myself. I now have a question so now is the time to find the answer.

Hippie the goody

I just watched two hours special document film of "Hippie." It all cleared me about what is the idea of Hippie and its history. I like to call myself as Hippie. I love people, earth, nature, peace, and, all together, love. Love is the basic idea of Hippie that I believe. Whenever I said I am a hippie, people asked me if i smoke marijuana. That is funny that people usually connected the idea of the hippie with drugs. According to the history, hippie years were called drug years as well because hippies used many drugs; such as marijuana, MSG, and heroin. People! do not get wrong with using drugs. It is totally their choices. Only the reason of using a drugs doesn't mean that the users' lives is on the rock bottom and losers lives. When I writing about legalizing marijuana, I read one story of what a Douche police man said to new paper; he believe that drug users are also people and we should respect them as same people as non drug users. The bottom line is that hippie culture is not only all about drugs.
In the document film, hippies jam festival brought many hippies from everywhere, Woodstock. people get around and live together without any social rules. They showed the harmony and the peace. That is what we need now. The song "What The World Needs Now is Love" was sung by Jackie DeShannon and many musicians who felt this lyric from the heart. Exactly, what we need is more love from one other. I ensure that hippies said love our people, freely using drugs. We, hippies, have emphasized on that for over the decades, yet more people lose the interest of the love every year. Too sad and too tragedy; money, social level, power, and war is more important than simply accepting, respecting and loving one other nowadays. If anyone think carefully about us, anyone could find that we are only same human being. It doesn't matter who has different skin colors, has different religions, speaks different language, is poor or rich, and is gay or not. We are the only humans who live in our earth; thus, we should love each other more, not hate each other.
From now, we should give everyone you know a big "Free Hug." That is probably the small beginning of loving us. I am a new generation of hippie who keeps the basic idea of hippie. We need more hippies who can huge this earth. REMEMBER!! What the world needs now is love!!

Culinary Institute of America

Today, I feel terrible and depressed right after I found that I have to prove over $350,000 on the bank account and my mother could barely afford only $10,000. I'm fucking broken right now. Well, I have $7 in my pocket. I really want to study. Even though, I just graduated ELS courses, I still couldn't open CIA's door because of the money. I don't know what I should do. Should I go back to Korea in order to make some savings? Should I buy some lotto? Should I beg some money from people on the street? Frankly, I am ready to do it!! I really hate my life. I enormously want to study as soon as possible so that I can get a job soon, which mean I can make money soon. I love my career so much that I don't want to think about how much money that I made, yet I have to think about it since I am a part of this world. How tragedy! My dad is in the heaven and My mother is in the financial crisis. My father is finally rest in peace after 26 years of pain and suffers from work, family, and disease. However, because I am her son, she is now suffering from supporting me. I feel terrible about that. I am fucking 28 years old. All my savings from past career had been spent long times ago. I am now asking money from my mother. I am really bad, really really bad. I probably am not a good son due to fact that I gave more hard time to my mother. If I was working, I could support my mother's expenses. She got married her early 20's, when she was 20. She spent her adulthood with helping her husband and rising her children. She didn't have her own life and still she couldn't have. Although my mother runs real estate business, she almost closes down since people less spent money to buy or rent the properties. I've been owning this web page for a couple months; nevertheless, I still couldn't get any donations. I need some action. What I got to do is to sit on the street with a picket that said,
"Searching for scholarship!! I am Roydon Kwangwoo Kim, a Korean chef from Australia. I came New York to study at Culinary Institute of America. However, since the financial crisis is happening right now and I need some money to start studying at the school, I am now ask you to help me to start to study. If you wish me to cook, I can cook for you as long as you provide ingredients and little amount of scholarship. I am fully qualified and 9 years experienced chef. I can prove you. I wish I could work somewhere, yet due to difficult situation, nobody hires me. All your big scholarship will help me to study, I'd appreciate all your helps. Thank you."

When i was 19

When I was nineteen, I had quite tough time. People could believe my story, though. I don't know people might think that that age could not get that kind of experience. I didn't want to be happened. If i didn't have that kind of situation, I would have came to overseas earlier. I don't often talk about this beside someone really close enough to ask me what I have done right after the high school.
The story is began with when i was late 18. I was at last year high school. Until that time, my family and my father's restaurant business had not had any big troubles, more likely very smooth everything. There wasn't any down hill nor upper hill, simply flat but everything was good. My father's restaurant was quite popular among the local people. I was a son of the owner so whenever I wanted to have some meat, my father owned Korean barbecue restaurant, I could bag my mother or father to have some meat. Good thing was my parents have only two children; my sister and I. My parents didn't have to feed five or four children; otherwise, they were going to spend more money than earn from the business. I ate meat a lot at that time so I recall that I was a quite chubby boy. While the last year of high school was heading toward to end, Korea economy was going to hit the bottom. At these days was called IMF years. Korea government didn't have enough money to run the country so they asked some money from International Money Fund. People started having light pockets so they spent less. Therefore, many small business had to close their doors. Not only did small business shut down their business, but any other businesses also had to. It was terrible at that time. As I mentioned early post, i used to work with my mom. In Korean currency, we sold frozen rolled pork belly for 1500 won, which is around one or two dollars in America. People were crazy about find anything cheap. These days, nothing was pricey because people would never buy.

One day my father's restaurant was on the edge situation due to a lot of debt. Even though My mother didn't want him to open another restaurant, he did it anyway. Nowadays, i am having a problem with paying my tuition so I often asked my mom to help since she is the only one who can support me. I don't want to stop the study because i have to make some money so that i can continue the study. I believe that if I graduate earlier, I could get better many and pay the all the debt. That is why I was trying to get some student loan. However, my mom strongly disagree with me. She is worrying that I could end up like father. Actually, he borrowed so much money from everyone who he knew, even his or his wife's family. No customers came to the restaurant because people didn't have enough money to enjoy the luxury. His restaurant was sinking like Titanic. He lose the money, he could afforded to pay the debt. He didn't plan to run way, but we packed our stuffs to move to a smaller apartment. Creditors and his friends found out that we were packing, so they came to the house. It was totally disaster. Because of money, people became ugly animals. Shouting, yelling, and swearing was going on among the people, including my parents. Next thing I remember was that our family had to separate. My father was hiding, more likely because he had never turn on any light while he was in the house, my mother and sister stayed mother's friends house. I didn't have much choices to go. I was studying in cooking school when i got my mother's phone call. She said they are moved already so I should stay at my uncle's house. My uncle had a two bed room apartment and had two children. Could you imagine that how much trouble to live in that condition? It was absolutely awkward. Even though I was close to the uncle and his family, living with them was really difficult. In fact, my mother divorced with my father so the uncle decide not to see her any more. He loved me when I was a little kid, though. He is a teacher of Confucianism and Chinese character so divorce was unacceptable for him. Since his sister, my mother, broke his fundamental Korean thoughts, he didn't want to talk to her anymore. He is a good man, I aways wished I have a father like him. Even though he didn't see her anymore, he had tried to be good to me which I really appreciate.
One day, one of mother's friends told me why I smile all the time and if i didn't not understand what situation I have. Fuck yeah, I knew what happened, but, just because of that, I didn't want to look as if I am depressed. I though that if I smiled more, people would have not recognize what situation I have. However, they, some of my mother's friends, thought that I didn't get how bad situation I have. Why should have I been looking serious? I didn't want to loose my smile, it is the only gift from my family. I can't remember exactly how long we lived like that but the next story of my will be began with after my mother got a little flat for her children.

P&P: Prawn Pasta

A couple days ago, my lady and I wend to Fairway, our favorite supermarket, to pick some ingredients for dinner and lunch. I saw the prawn was not expensive, $7 for a pound, so i asked her how about we have a prawn pasta. She loves seafood, especially selfish. With smile on her face, she loved that sound. Well, I am a happy chef who makes people happy; I strongly believe that making happy is definitely what chef have to do in the kitchen. For making two plates of prawn pasta, we needed chopped a half onion, two tomato concasse(diced plum tomato without skin and seed), half pound of peeled and headless prawns, black olive without seed, little bit garlic, dry white wine, dried or fresh basil and, obviously, pasta. We chose Fussily pasta. Since fresh pasta is much price than dried one, we had mixed half and half so that we could cook another two potions for next day. We normally buy the ingredients for two or three day.
To start with olive oil, garlic and chopped onion on a pan, you should star with medium heat; otherwise these will be burned before infused flavor. When onion is cooked without colored and you can smell the garlic, put prawns. Spreading the prawns on the pan will help you to cook everything evenly. Making sure both side of prawn is cooked. Prawn or other shellfishes are very delicate so you don't have to cook too long. If the cooking time is too long, the meat will loose tenderness and moisture. Soon as you put the prawns, it will be cooked in no time. When both side is cooked, puring white wine is the next. This dish does have much sauce beside wine and olive oil so it is good that covering the prawn with the wine. Next thing is put tomato and black olive. The idea of making pasta is whatever you want add, you can add. I like tomato and black olive with pasta. In fact these are very Italian ingredients. that is why I added it into my pasta.
Cooked and drained pasta put into the sauce when the wine starts boiling. At the moment, you'd better turn low the heat if you don't want to have too dry pasta. While quickly mixed with pasta and sauce, chopped fresh basil and seasoning is the last step of this pasta. We didn't buy fresh basil because we don't need that big bunch of basil. For the two potions of pasta, you will only need three or four leaves of basil. However, we used dried basil instead. Adding at the very last minute is good for fresh basil. if you have dried bail, like me, use it when you pour the wine so that the dried basil will infuse more flavor. All the ingredients and pasta should be mixed well and there is a couple of spoons of sauce should be remained on the bottom.
Before you eat the pasta, freshly grind Parmesan cheese and extra virgin olive oil make the taste better.
Try today!! if you have any question, simply left me a comment.

Missing this people

They are my best friends in Sydney, except Chris is living in England. If my memory is correct, the day we took this photo was Tim's birthday. From left to right, myself, Tim, Anthony who has yellow hair, Todd who wears purple t-shirt and Chris. Actually, Chris was not there when the picture was taken but Anthony loves Chris so much so he added Chris behind him. Well, it looks like he was really there. Good job, Anthony!! This is the story how we became friend one other.
When I had the first job in Sydney, Tim was working as a bartender. Of course, I was a cook. He was very nice guy and still he is. I remember one day he taught me English. First year in Australia so I spoke broken English. He asked me if i am full because I just had a dinner. It was simple question but I couldn't get it, so he handled an empty bottle and said this is empty. Then, he handled a fulled bottle and said this is full. What a good teaching!! He also invited me when he had a party. At the party, i met many of his friends. I met Anthony there. I also met Chris but he is not the Chris on the picture. Funny story, his friends were very nice and asked me to introduce Korean food because they wanted to have but they didn't know what they could have. I brought them to a Korean restaurant where i used to work. around ten people went there so the boss made good money because of me. I can't remember his name but i do remember he has a beard and bold head. Anyway, he said to me they are going to a pub, "a special pub." I really didn't know that they were on the way to a strip bar. Well, we were in Kings cross where is famous with all "the night activities." It was first time I have been strip bar in my entire life. I swear god even though i don't believe him. We were there and a stripper was dancing with a poll. It was quit an experience. It was hell of fun!! Anthony said I couldn't close my mouth.
Todd is a friend of Anthony. Anthony said Todd and Tim was a flatmate. That is how Anthony met Tim. When i was in Sydney, Todd was in London. My last year in Sydney, Todd came back to home and Anthony introduced him to me. Todd is a cool guy. He sometimes called me "Hey, mother fucker Roy. How the fuck are ya?" For me, the sound was really cool. I also know Todd's girl who came from German. She is so nice girl. I always had a good memories with her and Todd.
Chris who is on the picture is Anthony's friend as well. Anthony had a job on one of biggest cruse ship in the world. Chris was his roommate. In the ship, they were became good friend. After Anthony came back to Sydney for holiday,i guess, Chris came to Sydney. One day, we three of us went a nightclub, Home bar. Music was good and the night was good. We danced crazily until three in the morning. It might look like three gay guys were dancing together. Ha ha joking.
I have so much fun memories in Sydney. I really wanna go back for holiday. I have more picture of other friends but they are the people i miss most.

TSIF:Thanks someone it's friday!!

Finally!! Today is Friday. This week was quite tough week and had many things were going on. I now have a plan with my lady to have a lunch together. While i am waiting her, i am writing this post. I guess I have been doing great. I worried about the study but i feel more confidence than before, which is good!!. I knew I can do it. I have a very strong can-do attitude. So far, everything is smooth as my ass, only joke.
For today's lunch, we decided to have Vietnam noodle soup. The restaurant is not too far from where i study and the taste is really out of heaven, especially when I have very light pocket but I want to have something real food. Beef noodle soup is only for $5. I think that that noodle soup is the best noodle soup I have never had so far. Seriously, you got to try. I will tell you how it was when I got back. Hungry!!gotta go have a bowl of noodle!!

559 W158th Street

That is the street address of where i am living. This is quite old building so the structure is quite funky. What i mean by funky is that my room is on second floor and right next the roof top of first floor. There is a kind of big gap between two units. Frankly i can see the room cross the roof top. Whether i saw my neighbor is not a bigger problem i have. I've been travel around world but I've never seen people like who live on third, fourth and fifth floor because they through all the stuff out of window, including pee. Whenever i open my window, the stink is too strong that i feel like I am in the public toilet at the country side park where no one cleans the toilet. This is horrible and terrible. I've been living in this room for over four month. At the beginning of living in this room, I didn't actually recognize some how. After a couple of month later, the smell from outside of window was just awful. It was so awful that i couldn't even often my window during the summer. I've complain to land owner about it so, she said to building manager. I do remember a cleaning guy clean the roof top for three times, yet it kept piling up right after cleaned up. last time the guy clean the roof top was a month ago. Everyday in the morning, I couldn't get fresh air nor great window view. I don't understand why they keep littering. They are fucking selfish bastards. I really hate them all. Because they want to have very convenience life, I've been in mentally pain, stress and health problem. Nowadays i really want to sue them for what I deserve. Is there anyone who can sue them for me, I would like share the fine. However my roommates are first people to get that fine from selfish neighbors. Damn i need a lawyer. I want to live better life. I think i am going to report this situation somewhere. Maybe on TV or the city counselor. Hey upstairs people!! Fuck You!!

Tired!

First day at the class and first day of restarting the study made me so easily tired. I had a quite busy day, though. I now have some homework to do and my daily study plan. Because of banking trouble, I could buy a note book after all the class was over. Although, the first day was quite tough, today's horoscope on the paper cheered me up and I wouldn't doubt about it.
"Focus all your attention on your work. You'll get a new assignment soon that also brings more authority. Don't worry, you can do it."

Monday

What a Monday!! I just had a busiest day today. Why? my day was start with over slept for one hour then i wanted. Well, It wasn't big deal. I just wanted to wake up early so that i could start my day a little bit earlier. Since last Saturday, I've been difficulty with using my check card, somehow. I don't know why but it definitely had a problem right after i made a deposit. I had to talk to the bank. I knew that today is Columbus day, but I though the bank might be opened because there are many banks open for seven days and the bank i use opens for six days. From my place to the bank is about ten blocks away. I needed my card to work in order to pay the tuition today. That is why i had to walk to the bank to solve the problem. I wasn't sure whether the bank is opened but i had no choice. It was around ten. I walked ten block to the bank and i saw the closed bank. I definitely realized that bank is not opened on Columbus day. Now what? What the fuck i can do? I made a deposit and i can't use my money. This is bullshit!! I might be done some mistake. I can remember, oh shit!! Today is the register day so I had to check with my bank balance and find out how I can pay. Luckily, i have a check book, but only problem i had was that i didn't have any money to go to school. Oh! fuck me!! I ran to my lady to borrow $4 for return train ticket.
With my lady's help, i finally arrived at the school. The school was filled with so many students from all around the world. I filled out the forms that they gave to me and waited for so long to meet International student adviser, registrant and, last stop, academic director. The whole process took over two hours. I didn't want to be at the student orientation; nevertheless, I was there.
Another trouble wasn't finished until I swept my Metro card at the station. First sweeping, it had a error. Second sweeping, it said that i don't have enough balance. What the fuck!! I recharged $4 in this morning and it' gone somehow. My lady was enjoying her day without the classes. I really didn't want to bother her but, if i didn't ask her to rescue me, i had to walk 200 blocks to home. Even though, I'd walked over150 blocks before, the sound of over 200 blocks made me exhausted already. My girl really saved me the day from morning. I asked her if she can rescue me and she came right away to take me home. She is an awesome girl!! I love ya!!!
The first day in the class will begin tomorrow morning. This month is my last chance to study. I have to be better than before. Frankly, little bit nervous about it but I believe i can do it and I will be alright!!

Anthony Bourdain "No Reservations"

Today, I've been watching Television show "No Reservation." This is pretty cool show to me because the reporter is a French Bistro chef in New York and he travels all around world to experience the culture, including food. This is kind of my dream as well. I like to be a Gypsy. Traveling all around world and eating all the different kinds of food; how awesome life is that?
That could be a fucking awesome life!! If anyone out there who can sponsor me to travel and taste some food, I really want to do. Since i planed to study at CIA, I assumed that i could use the school vacation time to travel and work in other countries. Obviously, I will not be able to get a working permit for a month so, what i only can do is to work for a month without any payment. I have to study and work hard like an ordinary Asian guy before and after the vacation in order to make travel budget. As a Korean passport holder, there are so many disadvantage to work other countries, especially a Korean chef who works at European kitchen in Europe. What a tragedy!
I really want to go to Europe, India, Thai, Africa, and rest of all the countries on the earth. Big dream? haha, you will see. America is the third country where i am actually living in; Korea, Australia, USA. I'll live or visit other counties i mentioned earlier. I've some other countries though, it's not enough. I definitely need to see more world and taste more food. This is also good for my career for sure!
Nowadays, in order to less spend the money, I've eaten crappy food. I am so hungry for better and tasty food. Hugryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snow boarding

I'm now watching the channel "Fuel TV" on my television. This channel is one of my favorite channel in thousand channels. Somehow, i have a cable TV which is awesome and awful because i can watch so many different kinds of things on television so I don't have time to be boiled. However,once nothings were interested, I just sat my ass on my bed staring the channel; that looks pathetic.
I've been watching snow boarding, surfing, and skate boarding on that channel. All the borders are really cool. It looks like they are really enjoying their lives. I am a chef. Chefs, we are also enjoy our lives in the kitchen but we are wearing same white jackets so our appearance quite similar one other. Many chefs realized that they don't have to wear something nice when they go to work, for they have to change to chef jackets in order to work in the kitchens. I don't know how they wear when they have day-off yet, i saw many chefs don't have good senses of clothing. Why I am off the topic to chef's jacket is that we, i mean chefs, need some individual styles. I found that someone who has good sense of clothing, art, and music has also good style of cooking. You can see it from the way of presenting the dishes.
I am a chef freak so i always found out the connection the cooking with something totally different from cooking.
I like chef career but i sometimes found myself in different place such as on the beach or on the mountain. My family was poor so i could start snow boarding, surfing and skate board when i was a middle of 20s. Now, i am 28 years old. Whenever i saw young pro-boarders, i believe myself could be a pro if i started "boarding" when i was much much young. This winter i really want to go to Canada if I can save some extra money. I remember that if i filmed how i snow boarding and then sent it, i could earn scholarship as long as i won. There are probably many borders better than me so i could have no chance. Too bad.
Is there any place i can just live without any money? If there is a non man island which had wonderful beach and snow mountain, i will pack everything and then move there for living rest of my life.
Today's daydream is over. Now time to back reality

Today's Dinner

My girl and I love to have steak for dinner. When we went to Fairway, where is the most our favorite grocery store in the town because it has pretty much every thing that i need for cooking in low cost, we picked some stuffs for our sandwiches for next week school lunch. I'll restart to study English in the progress of entering Culinary Institute of America so we both agreed that we should reduce the food expenses due to economy crisis and too high exchange currency rate. While we were picking up some stuffs for the sandwich, we were talking about what we were going to have for the dinner. My lady loves my risotto so she asked me about it. But the problem was that we ran out of cooking white dry wine. If we buy it, we were going to spend so much money for grocery even if we bought a cheap bottle of wine.
At the Fairway, we could find cheap price of beef yet, i believe, it has better quality than any stores. So, I planed to make the steak, mash potato mixed with roasted garlic and semi-dried halves plum tomato for our dinner. I chose a pack of three sliced pieces of Beef Bottom Round. I knew it is not the best part for steak but i believe that it has good fatty so thinly sliced this part is not too bad. In fact, the cost was only $3.66. Well, what the hell it is good cheap steak for poor students like us.
I like to cook potatoes with milk because it makes rich flavor, so i did. Meanwhile the potatoes were cooking in mixture of salted 90% of milk and 10% of water , unpeeled three cloves of garlic with extra virgin olive oil and Rosemary were roasted in 140 Celsiuses. In order to the garlic infused the flavor of olive oil and rosemary, I made a little pocket, which made of aluminium foil. I put everything into there and then i closed it. The best way to find out whether it is cooked is to pock with thin stick. Simply the stick smoothly goes inside, it is cooked.
In our kitchen, we have a little oven for toasting bread or something. It has a function of controlling time and temperature which helps me to cook small amount of food. In same degree, i also cooked tomato halves. All three tomatoes were cut in half and placed on the tray. Cut surface should be up. I just left these in the oven until the potatoes cooked. Once the potatoes were cooked, draining the potato and mashing was the next step. I peeled garlic skin and then mashed it with potato. Heavy cream is for making the mash more smooth. Unsalted butter is for making rich favor. In old cook book said the amount of butter is half equal amount of potato. It sound liked really fatty but, trust me it is really good. Thinking of roasted garlic flavored mash potato, that sound makes me mouth watering all the times and it is fucking good with steak.
I got three thin pieces of steak so i cooked these in very hot pan for a couple of minutes and then rested it for same time as cooking time when every side dishes were ready to eat. Medium-rare is obviously the best temperature for steak.
Total cost $8 for steak dinner, the cost of steak, potato, garlic and tomato. I don't normally like to eat steak with gravy. What i like is only salt and pepper or whole grain seed mustard, that is the way i can taste the beef not sauce. Because of my habit, i could save some money to make or buy gravy.
Try today!! It is so good!!

Donation

I've tried for one hours to figure out how to put the donation button into my blog. It was pain in my ass. I dare to ask people whoever can help me out to finish my study and journal. All the money you gave me will be used for paying tuition, bill, and any education expenses. Any amount of donation will be appreciated. Because I've been helped from people, I will cook better food and innovated cuisine. Thank you for all your help.

Quick say something

This is totally out of continuing my story but, I want to say something since i have my blog. This is quite addictive. Past a coupe days, I spent many hours to reorganize the blog and writing something. Today weather is little bit cloudy. For me, this kind of weather makes me feel lazy and depressed but my lady loves this weather. She asked me to go outside to enjoy the weather. So, I've been loving this weather becasue she feels better when the weather like today. Probably, we will walk around Menhattan and drink cups of coffee. Luckly, she found a coffee shop where sold hand drip coffee. By now, she almost done with her make-up and dresse up. Good day, today. I've been feeling blue recently. So many things drove me nut. I need fresh air, although Menhattan's air is not that fresh than i wanted.

Continuing the story of my life

Anyway, working in the restaurant was not my interests when i was a high school student. Since i failed to enter Army academy, i had no choice of my career. My teacher told me to study police law instead study military. Well, i really hate to study, only one thing i like was to make money. Therefore, i used work with my mom at mom's restaurant. The restaurant was supposed to be my father's second restaurant but my father broken his restaurant so it was only thing that left to my mom. My mom hired one middle-aged lady who can work in the kitchen. My mom work both side between Kitchen and restaurant. My position was a waiter. the restaurant was very small. It had only six tables so 24 sit restaurant. The problem was every customers had to take of their shoes in order to sit. The problem was actually made the customers walked away. The restaurant was Korean restaurant which specialized Korean BBQ. We had cheap frozen-rolled-pork-belly. We used a slicer machine to thinly slice it. Which was totally big hit. Low price and tasty pork belly was liked by every person who visited. At these days, people had light pockets due to horrible economic situation so, people looked for cheap food. It was good business for a while before many restaurants around our restaurant started putted same menu we had. it was disaster that we had to changed new menu. My mom shut down the BBQ restaurant and then reopened Ramen restaurant. It was doing alright but people had to keep taking off their shoes so, eventually, my mom had shut down the restaurant. I worked for my mom for three for four months right after i finished final exam. I didn't know what i can do so i made money while i was searching for what i can do. With low college exam, i failed every college i applied. One day, i found culinary courses at continuing education center at a college. It was only for a year so perfect for me. $1000 for one semester was really reasonable price. I had a saving so i could afford it.
-Well, my girl friend is missing me right now because I've been writing this for over one hours. I got to back to my lady so the story will be back soon

First note

I don't know but, I though if I had my blog to show people who I am and what I am doing, I could ask them some donations. I need more money to study. All my money and my family's money were all into my education but I still couldn't graduate and I still need more money to complete my study. Almost nine years experiences at the kitchens wasn't good enough to get a job any where in the world as a Korean who cooks at European Kitchen. I'm here, in New York. I was supposed to finish ELS course last year so that i could enter Culinary Institute of America this year. Though, i got lost many times. I had been really stupid. I could not see what is the first and what is the next. I had tried many thing to enter CIA as soon as i can yet, whenever I tried, the time had never been shorter; it had been more slower and more difficult to enter. My mom, she is a single mother. I had a father. He was not a family guy. Well, he probably loved his family so much so, he showed his love by working so many hours to make more money, which i absolutely appreciate my father. If he didn't work hard i probably could haven't graduated high school. One day, his passion and desire of owning a Korean restaurant closed his Chinese restaurant and then opened Korean restaurant. The restaurant was big hit. People loved my father's cooking. Morning television show had been even introduced the restaurant. His restaurant was doing well until IMF had helped Korea economic. He had a lot of debts. In fact he landed some money from family member and illegal loan office, which usually has high interest and owns by gangsters. Broken Korea economic had pushed people out of street and brought people to end of the lives. Everyday news reported who suicide and how unempoyers lived on the street; only sad news that is all I can recall. Everyone closed down their own business like domino effect so did my father. At that time, i was last year at high school. I couldn't make to university nor college. it wasn't just because of my parents didn't have money. I originally planed to enter Army academic but, my grades were way too below than what they required. I was totally lost my dream. I even though join the army to be a Sergent. My mom offered to me what if i become a chef. I often used to help my parents' business when i was high school. I had never though to work at same filed as my parents. I had tried to help my father when he was working in his kitchen but, he had never allowed me to enter his own territory. As result, I had never learned anything from my father yet, I had a floor manger position because I was son of the owner. It could be really funny. Could you image that a little teenager ordered all the employee who to do? As matter of the fact, they were very nice so I had never had any problem with my managing skills.
-to be continue-