Two weeks before Today

I was with my chef;Gregry pugin, and good chef buddy at same kitchen;Andrew from SF, two weeks before today because we had a charity function. Before that day, chef told me if I can work next week Wednesday, so I said "sure." I have no reason to refuse his offer since I don't have any plane anymore on my day-off. I wasn't too much excited about it. However two days before the day, sous chef; Danny, showed me the event information. The event was called "Dinning in New York City." In one place, all the finest chef and his teams in town cooked for people. Soon as I saw the list of restaurants, I felt extremely excited. Well, can you imagine that I could cook with all these greatest chefs in town? I would be honor to be there as a chef.
The day was begun with 11 in the morning. My chef buddy, Andew was the day chef's right hand man, showed me the list and we prepare for the event. Only one menu that represented the restaurant was all ready cooked before the day. "Foie Gras poached in Red wine with a piece of Fruit Bread, Onion marmalade and Port Wine reduction." Each things needs long hours to be ready to eat. That is the reason I missed to see how to be done and everything was done after I came back from the day-off. We were ready in an hour and then helped rest of kitchen crew for service.
At 3 p.m, all three of us carried all the things to the event. The place wasn't that far from the restaurant, so we walked for five blocks. Guess what happened? We had an address but we were spinning around because unfinished building was on that address. We were confused. I even thought if we were at right place in right time. I suggested to leave everything on the street for now, then I will go for finding a place. I actually checked date and time everything on the booklet. I saw some of food supply delivery was going to that unfinished building, so walked to a construct worker and then, showed the booklet in order to find whether I came to right place. Once he confirmed the place, I went back to tell them that is the place.We were first kitchen team arrived that place. Surprisingly, the building was luxury apartment. Each room was opened for chefs and guests. I saw there were several tables for each restaurants in the room. We took one of tables and left all these thing we brought. I wondered why people chose this place since the place is neither convention center nor function room. On the same floor, there were only five unites, I saw each unites. I thought that all the chefs from 40 restaurants would not be fitted in whole unites. Anyhow, we were the earliest one, so the answer would be found when everybody were there.
We went to a pub for break till event was begun. We, three of us, had a good conversation. Especially, I felt I knew my chef more. We talk about food. He gave me some advice as well. He told me my seasoning is aways under so I have to watch out that. I heard my chef's story and my chef buddy story as well. He is one year younger and less year of experiences than me, yet he works really hard and is a good chef. He said his major at the college was Philosophy before stepped into kitchen. He was trained at all the top restaurants in New York. I don't want to go over with all the details of the conversation, but only one thing I want to say is that it was really good time. I got to know them better and they knew me better as well.
At the service hour, we were busy to present what we cooked. Some presses took photos of us and food. Many people kept asking what we cooked and what is on the dish. Funny story is I was supposed to say, "This is Foie Gras poached in Red Wine with onion marmalade, port wine reduction and fruit bread," but I said, "This red wine poached in Foie Gras." I didn't know why I did but it was actually confused the guest. It was fun, though. Our next tables were chefs with teams from Annisa and Wallse. We shared one other's dishes. I was good to taste the fine dish for free. Once the service was little slow, I visited to other tables and other rooms. As I was curious about how many kitchen team could fit on only one floor with five unites, I found that only 15 restaurants were attended. I was little bit disappointed, yet it was really good opportunity to taste all the samples of their dishes. My favorite was, of cause, my chef's menu: Foie Gras. It was really good. It was so good that one lady actually came back to our table for seven times, as many as Andrew counted. Second favorite was pork belly from East 15. Japanese infused pork was melted on my tong. Others were also good, there were no disappointment for sure.
I am finally writing about the day. I've been too lazy and busy. I've wanted to write about it but I just didn't do it. While I am writing, it was good feeling to remember the day I had fun, the day I felt that I was glad to be a chef.

Money, money that makes me worry

I want to study at Le Cordon Bleu and Culinary Institute of America since I started the cooking school in Korea. I've heard one student told about the CIA. She also said she plans to go there. I didn't know what kind of the school was at that time. Well, I should have gone to France to learn cooking at the beginning of my career. I did not know how to go to France and find a master chef to learn from. There was no such information I couldn't find back then. Perhaps, I might not be hard enough to find these kind of information. Whenever I go to book store, most of cook books that I can find was for house wives or from the famous school, such as Le Cordon Bleu. Even the foreign language book section had so limited collection to find a good cook that inspired me.
For now, I don't want to blame anything or anybody. Whenever I saw someone work better than me but has less years of experience, I am so angry at myself because one year in the cooking school, 1 year at family dining restaurant, 1 year at spaghetti restaurant, 2 years of military service and over one year of studying English didn't help me to be better, I am still shit. Because my past experiences weren't rich and seasoned, I think it probably be good idea to study at Culinary Institute of America and find a master chefs to learn their master skills. The only problem is I don't have enough money for anything. The school tuition fee is far expensive and working for the chef also takes a lot of cost, but I got nothing. Even though I really want to ask somebody about money, it is not too easy since I have to ask a lot of money. I've been asking my mother. She promised me for paying my education. However, the economy situation gave her a tough time to support her own son. So, I have to stand up by my own. But, how? I'm working at one Michelin starred restaurant but earning is not even enough for tuition or anything. I knew i am not happy with money situation. Somehow, I want to be happy in any circumstance, happy with working and studying. My pocket is always light as feather, my dream isn't. I have my dream. Not only I want to be a greatest chef, but I also want to be something different. That is my idea of my kitchen. In order to do that, I have to get threw this situation no matter what, beside anything stupid and illegal. Figuring out how live this life will not be easy but that is what I face on.

February has just begun

Wow, one more month from now, I will be at CIA. I feel like entering army. When I was going to military service, I was a sort of one of people who felt little bit of excitement because I always want to play with guns since I was a very little boy. I now feel extremely excited.
First day of February on Sunday is just finished. Today, I somehow enjoyed the day. I feel like the heart of my job is growing every day. Running around, making dishes in short limited time, chopping with fast speed, standing over 10 hours every day, being at sun-limited place, being at unknown behind of the house, working with all the dangerous tools, but being happy is us. That is why I love being at Kitchen.
From March, I am back to fundamental of cooking, to start again and correct everything. I think because I've wanted to study at Culinary Institute of America since I found myself in the kitchen. I hope I study very well like a nerd, a cool nerd.
This year is 10th years of working at kitchens, but wasted many years. I don't know why I am still bottom. I've been in underground for 10 years, under the Shadow. I am still nobody. I sometime am not sure whether I like my job. I haven't even found my real talent of cooking, yet I always have good feeling to work at kitchen. Feeling from earning money and learning many things in same time is good. I will become a man. As many people said, I think I have a such strong color. It is sometime to hard to digest other people's opinion. I think that is why I often make trouble. I almost live by my rule. I wanna do what I wanna do. I think this is me.
Anything makes me excited, I like it. Cooking career is really interesting job. You can see all the different people in one place. Even often, we work with many different nationality and background. It might be a title that brought from :Austin Power: The International Man, Roydon K: The International Man. The Idea of Roydon K was came out from my brain today. One of chef buddies in the kitchen asked me what my real name is. He meant what my Korean name is. I really don't want to speak Korean. I've been denied myself as a Korean. I really don't want to be a Korean anymore. I want to choose who I am. That is the reason I like to say I am an Aussie, not only because I used to live there. If I were in America before going to Australia, I probably would say I am an American. That could be more likely. There many Koreans live in USA. One of waitress in the restaurant told me her mother is a Korean. I felt wow I've never thought that meeting a second generation. I often act like a second generation because that is what I wanted to be. However, I usually worry what if the acting is kind of funny to them. I could completely be a phony, a living with liar. It more like as though I was rebelled. One the other hand, I keep saying myself being me. That is all I can do, having my color.
Past two years of falling at English school has improved my English. I've never though that I could write in English. I like write, thought. I wasted my time at Koreans' Kitchens for many years. So, from now, I have to fight myself. There is no time to be wasted. Since I even get a tattoo of "The chef," I have to be a chef. Call me Roydon K; No Korean, but just me.
After a month, I will step on the way to be a greatest. I will searching for the best, to be a best. Since I started what I want to become long times ago and there is now noway to return, I have be the best. What I face on is the real. That is only the way to get out from the slump.