Past a week

Last week today, I had a last day at the work. Since then, my life was kind of being miserable. Well, it is my choice to walk out and find a new job. So far, I've got no luck, too bad for me, right? I might have to move out from the state. Going back to Korea won't be the solution, but if I don't want to have a legal trouble, it could be the only option that I have for now.
This time, I want to work at where everyone wants to work. That is problem. I don't know anyone who help me to get a job, or i don't have a noticible speciality to hire immiediently. I did believe I have a spectacular knife skill but that's every chef's skill as well. Now, my question is that chef career is really right for me?
I don't want to blame anything but, past my life, whenever I want to do something, there is always some other thing block me; whenever I want to study, I don't have enough money to study. And whenever I want to work, there is no job available. What should I do?
I don't have enough money now, I even no idea how to pay next rent. Only way is to give a month notice and move out end of next month. However, where should I move to?
Only because I don't have enough money, I've been locking myself everyday. I really didn't want to eat anymore instant noodle. I am trying to spend as less as possible, but it is hard. When all my money is done and I don't have a job until then, I have no choice but living on the street. I have to find out how to continue this life.
I am still waiting for calling from chefs. Past ten years of being nobody, I strongly desire to be somebody.
Past a week, I have any reason to wake up, but now I want to be happy when I wake up.

On my way to the city

I am waiting a train to the city. I don't know what I'm going to, neither have a plan. I just wanna go for some reason.
My life is like that: unpredictable. My age is going to be 30, and I should turn new chapter to write new story. However, I have no story to start the new chapter. Ten years of cooking career is good enough to concrete my career because I still feel as if I got lost somewhere. Just because I spent one third of my life to cook, I want to keep doing what I do, yet all the time I questioning myself if it is really I want do to. Simply following order from the big chef isn't surely what I am best at.
I think I am very individual, who doesn't cooperate with others. Another hand, I love to do things together with others. Perhaps, I probably have a good balance between being selfish and people person, I don't know; just like what I absolutely want to do for my life.
I desperately need something that turn my life to new chapter. It can be as similar as looking for a needle in the sand, but I have to find it.

Sunday

I just took shower and got dressed. Past two days of locking myself in my room, I wanted to go to the city. Only problem is that outside is raining and I don't want to carry around my only one umbrella saying "Thomas Henkelmann". It's from the work and I am no longer belong there.
Many times when chef was upset at me, chef said all the time, "next time will be your last day!" I just couldn't take that bull shit any more, so I quit the job. I spent two days to write a cover later, but I haven't finished yet. I got so much thing to say; why I had to quit the job, what I look for and blah blah. The only thing I look for is to have better life and make me happy to work. Work can be simply work without having a meaning of it. That is why career is different from simply a job.
I didn't work with people who don't have professionalism and passion of cooking. It doesn't I do have. Whether become one or now is the matter of environment as I believe. I am not just upset of him but also the environment. I couldn't take it anymore. I feel kinda good to be out of that job.
Now, I have to find a new opportunity. Wherever I got a job, I will go. My life get tougher but I am getting even tougher. People, please, cross your fingers for me