some negative feeling

Well, I found out that my ex-owner of the restaurant hired a chef who I know. She told me that she doesn't want to run another restaurant any more. I was like okay fine. I don't know why but I feel kind of used. I design the kitchen with my experiences. Now, i feel like it will become his style and whenever I open my own, I might be a copycat. I don't know how to describe my feeling. I put so much effort on my restaurant and it is gone. I should not look back. I didn't want to see someone in my kitchen which I created. That could be only my greed. Well the kitchen came from my brain but the fund wasn't so the kitchen belongs to money. I wasn't good enough to cook at my own kitchen.
Well, it is just shock to me.
In Korea, I think many people hate me. the way I think, the way I talk and the way whatever I do.
There was a cook who used to work with. Since I found he has some skills that I don;t have, he was my first choice to recruit. he got along well and we work together to make something good. He did his part well. The day we packed our stuffs, I told him that we should catch up for beer. He already made plans and didn't even give me any chance to talk about what happen.
After few weeks passed, I realized that he was un-friend with on facebook. I do not know why. Maybe he slipped the fingers. Or he doesn't think that I am a chef anymore. Well, I don't hate him. He never told me how he think of me. At the last day, I just wanted to talk about many things. He might have figured out who I am already. That could be the reason he doesn't want to talk me any more. How should I know??
Well, I do sometimes scare of working with Korean. It is harder than any other country I used to work. I don't know why I am not acceptable in Korea even though I am a Korean.
There are not many people recognize me as a chef in Korea. The ex-owner said if the business has not pick up in a month, there no reason to continue. New chef is like new rock star in the industry. I am sure that people will come and packed everyday. It also will proof that I am not as good as him.
Hold on, what is the stand of how good?? I got so much negative feeling on me. Well, I just wanna be a different. I don't just wanna be a better chef but different chef. I should create the field that shows me that who I am. Who the fuck am I?? I am is I am. I know my attitude suck. I do not care. I got no time to check on me because I have to think about how I cook and what I cook. In Korea, my age is 35 but I am 33 and half. I do believe that I am still young and strong. To stand up by myself will take bit longer but I will one day. I am looking for the moment of slapping my face. I got to wake up and I got to find something that only I can do. Until then, the journey never ends    
  

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Okay, I am gonna catch up with you what's been going. Just because the owner didn't think what I cook isn't good for stable business by observing a month after opened the place, she decide to let me go and shut down all the projects that I've been doing. She gave a month but I told her the nature of restaurant business should watch for minimum 3 month to a year. She didn't listen to me and she was way too stubborn. What I did was to pack my stuffs next day and left. It was bit longer than 2 weeks ago.
At first, I've been looking any solution that I can open a place. Only problem is that I got no money to do anything. I'd asked banks and some other organizations if there is any option that I can lend some money. Without doubt, there is no possibility.  In fact, opening a restaurant with someone else's money is not always good idea. I would start with debts and might be done with mountain of debts. It is very risky.
I've been thinking while I was at a temple. Only the way I can break the chain of being kitchen slave by someone else and I can have my freedom of creation back is to open my place with my money.
I fucking hate money. Money didn't come first than human but, in this reality life, money controls human and people became its slaves. Especially in Korea, money is the easiest way to judge people. Whether the person is successful or not is by how much he or she has. In my opinion, anyone whom has dream and doing what the person is what-I-so-call "Successful Life".
 Anyhow, it is hard to get a job again. In Korea, there are a lot of restaurant but not much diversity. Capitalism spoiled people well in Korea. Some people wanna make money that they establish some franchise restaurant company. It's not like what chef wants to cook for people. Whatever trend flows, the company catches up and open multiple exactly same restaurant everywhere in Korea. That is why there are so many job opening at these franchise restaurants.
My first two restaurants are franchise restaurants and now they all shut down. Back in 1999, opening a franchise restaurant was booming and cooking career became new professional career. My father was also a chef but in our father's generation, cook isn't even a job. It was the job only if anyone don't have any skill and money to study.
I don't know what happen back then, but there more imported franchise brand came to Korea and there were more schools offered cooking class. It was the trend when I was having first year at the kitchen. At these days, we didn't call chef as chef. there was no chef in the kitchen. Kitchen had same ranking system as office workers. Nowadays, the word chef is well known and people call chef as chef. You know what happened?? Well, a popular tv serise did that. Plus, after all, there were more Italian restaurant opened up like pop-corn.
In my first few year of working at two franchise restaurant, we made our own source and dressing, even stock.Almost end of my second year, the company decided create same consistency of taste among other branches. My job was to make source and dressing at that time and all of sudden, only thing what I have to do was to open these packages of source and dressing. It was the moments of what the fuck.
My point is that franchise restaurant companies want that any cook make exact as what the recipes say. They ignore individual talent and skills. only thing they want from us,chef and cook, is to be bending machines.
Korea need more chefs with good philosophy of cooking and chef should open more places, not by company. Also consumers should enjoy more at independent restaurant.
Working for a franchise restaurant company is against my believe. However, I do need money and free time to work on my next project. Ironically, working as menu development chef  would be a good idea for now

I am back in Korea and just open a restaurant

Okay, here is the information that you can get about the restaurant where I work.
It's www.facebook.com/lacuisine.ratedr