With Latte....

Drinking a cup of Coffee Latte at one of my favorite coffee shop in the city, I was thinking of what I should I do... I got a phone call from one of the master chef in USA: Thomas Henkelmenn. I applied a chef de Partie position and he want to intview me about the job. Since I am still moving my stuff in this week, I told him to be there next week. I am already excited to be there. The restaurant is located at Greenwich, CT. If i got a job there, I probably move to nearby the restaurant. Also, I might need a car as well... I already told him that I will commit to work there for two years before I go back to CIA to finish the study. Going back to CIA is probably my major goal. In order to study there, either I work hard to save some money or I should find a sugar mama, hahaha. I have fucking no idea what I am doing right now. I hate this situation right now. I don't know what to do and what I should do. Oh fuck my life... People often said that hard time will give me strong character and success. However, I have no fucking clue about it. I believe I am trying my best but I guess the effort is not enough.

Empty my room

My room is finally almost empty.I was going to put my stuff at Doug's dady's place but his father called him to help. Since Doug's dad gave his pick-up truck to Doug, he had to help him. He asked me to move my stuff out of the car to his dorm room. I didn't want to because moving his dorm room would do more work and that wasn't the solution.

I knew I have many stuff. The reason I have many stuff is I have nowhere to leave my stuff. I need a place where I can rest sometimes and I don't have to worry about moving so many stuff. Soon as I got a job and a right to live somewhere, I want to buy a small house, maybe more like a small cabinet, where I can put my stuff and I can live there sometimes.

Now, more than half of my stuffs are in Doug's room and rest of the stuffs are in a storeroom in my dorm building. These stuffs on the pictures are what I need while I go away. I am moving back to my old room at my old neighborhood in the city. I am thinking of renting a storage in the city. Whenever I need something, I pick it up from there anyway. From now, I should leave all my stuff in the storage. Only one problem is that I have to pay the rent fee every month.

Well, anyhow, everything will work out

Probably Last night at CIA

mmm, I feel really weird right now while I am writing this. Fuck, the school pretty much kicked out me only because I don't have money to study!! I've never been a trouble boy. I party hard but I always believe the party make me strong and stronger. Like now, I also like to stay by myself. The time for myself. I need it! I asked Doug to help me , so he came today. I thought all my stuff could be in a pick-up truck, but all my damn all my stuff couldn't fit in; it was only half of it. OMG, What should I do..., I was thinking for a while. I was going to reload all my stuff. The one thing bothered me was how to put all my stuff in the pick-up truck since the truck was over loaded. I was looking for RD soon as i figured that I can't move all my stuff today. I was looking for RD, so I went to the office. She wasn't there. I go upstairs to her room, but she wasn't there. I actually knocked the door for a while. I went back to the office, and then knocked the door. No answer. I wanted to try again up stair, so I went back the room, knocked the door again. There was still no answer from inside. I said myself, "Please work with me baby, please", "They wanted to get out so I want to get out". I went back the office. Guess what? the trolley I borrowed earlier so I had to give back, but the card was gone. I was a little bit in panic. I've been drinking for two days. I want to keep in drunken. The little panic almost woke me up. The funny thing was I had no idea what should I do. I walked back to my dorm room. I saw her, but I wasn't sure she was the RD, I think she wasn't sure either. When we passed by, she said "I took the trolley back to the office," and I said "Thank you" and said, "I still have more stuff in my room to move, so can I move out tomorrow?" we made every thing clear by saying, "when I move out meet another RD after 10 am and check out." I am almost done. Even more weired now.
Now, I am at Doug's room to drink together. he helped out today, so I bought some beer for him. I begged him to help me again tomorrow. I persuade him to buy his lunch and beer tomorrow. Fucking finally, he accepted my offer.
One more day at the school. I really don't want to leave here. Since I don't have any choice but leaving, I really don't know what to do. People asked me what is my plan after all. I like to say "No plan is the plan", and "Simply live the fucking life. We live to die. That is all about the life. Enjoy the life, you have only one life. Now, I can't study at the school, but I can come back soon as I have some money to pay.
Now, I need a job really badly. I need to be into something, no drunken but passion. I think I've sent my resume to fifties to sixties restaurants and hotels all around world. I got nowhere end, so what I ever I do, I think I can do better than anyone else.
I want to stand up strongly and independently by myself. I want to be a bad boy to be the best. I am not a good son to my mom and a brother for my sister. I yelled at them because I could do what I want to do. I promised me to study hard, so did. I got average 3.00 GPA, not too great but still good for 29 years old and ten years experiences chef. I was getting better as matter of the fact. I am proud myself often because I did good sometimes. When I found myself confidence, I do very well. I was getting there but, I have to leave. Even though I want to study to be better, I now worked hard to get better. There is no promise to go back to CIA. As long as I have some money to study, I might come back. I still have no idea what to do. There are many thing to come up. As Dough said, enrolled community college keep maintain the visa. I guess that would would work. Only the problem is how to manage the money. I don't want to be an illegal alien. I want to stay here because I always have something to do, not playing around.
I am completely moving out tomorrow. After than, there is no class schedule in my mind. That is bull-shit. I gotta found something to do. I need it desperately.