Yesterday, I simply walked out Veritas Kitchen. It wasn't sink or swim situation. It was only walk in or out. If I like to be there, I would stay, but If I don't, I should walk away even though the kitchen is the finest. I met many good chefs who like me. The reason I walked out is that I didn't think Veritas is the only kitchen I can work in New York City. Learning experience is very important in chef career. Especially, where I worked and who the chef I used to work with is very important as well. Chef Gregory, who was my boss at Veritas, I liked him. Him and I are same age but he has definitely better experience than I do. He was a good boos, though. I don't want to blame anybody who works there for my decision. I just couldn't feel fit into that kitchen, and I also thought I wasted so many hours to work there. Working and studying at the same time is very tough for sure, but I wanted to feel the life, a grown man, and a busy man. In order to work on weekend, I had to more focus on the study; otherwise I probably couldn't have any chance to study. Every times on the way to work, I carried some text books or homework because I didn't want to waste any minute. I wanted to spend the time wisely. That is the one thing I regret about working on the weekends. Due to tiredness from the work, I actually spent that time to relax. I've been upset of it as well.
When the chef asked me if I could work on the weekend, I, without doubt, said "Of cause because I thought that I would be good for my career . In fact, he promised to help me to find a job in France once I graduated. That could be the biggest reason I stuck there every weekend. Until last weekend, I'd worked there as a part time cook for two months. While I was a full time cook, I really got along with the team. I had so much fun. It might over reacting but I felt a little bit of gap between them and I after weekends and months. I don't say I have a good people skill. I am not a arrogant bastard but a solo player sometimes. I don't asked them to pay attention to me and I don't have to pay attention to them all the time either. As a team, I should stick with them for sure, but I want to be alone sometimes. I guess only because I was there on the weekends, people don't think me as a part of team. It could be the one of the reason I walked away.
I was really upset the day I walked away. Of cause, chef job is very tough and stressful. I 've been under stress from not only the work but seriously everywhere. I knew I am not the person who has drama. I made many mistakes and chef yelled at me to read Escoffier book again. My mind shook and temped me to stay until end of the shift or until end of Jun, but I just wanted to walked away bravely. I just showed them who I was. I was neither a draper or a looser. I can say to people that I was looking for a place where I can fit in and both people and I can be matched, just like find a right woman to get marry. If I don't think there is the right place, I should step into another place. Or even though the place and I don't matched, there are so many things to learn, I would stay until I felt I learned something completely from there.
I feel good about leaving Veritas, with a little bit of regretting. However I am the person who always looks at bright side. To future employer, you wouldn't have to worry about me because it was only my choice and only happens when the situation was worth. This was the first time I actually walked away like that.
Say good by to Veritas and Say hello to new place where I am going to work
