Slow Walking

Sometime, any person needs to walking slowly in order to catch the breath and think of how far has been threw. Well, I've been running. I want to reach the top so bad that I've never thought anything carefuly and wisely. That is why need to walk slowly even though I really didn't want to waste even one minute.
Now, I am just waiting to get hired somewhere where I desire to work. I've sent a lot of letter to all the finest restaurant in the world and hotels. Meanwhile, I am going to work whatever I got to save some money. So far, I got nothing to work. I feel like I am usless junk, but since I spend more time with my family and my friend, no one actually complain of me staying home alone.
I hate not to have any job because I feel like I am not capability to do absolutly anything.
Wherever wants me to work there, I will pack my lugguage. Untill then, I am still a freelancer, perhaps...

Depression

Currently, I am a unemployee. If I wasn't live with my mom in Korea, I would have been a homeless somewhere. I had a job as a head chef. It was good but it wasn't good as i thought, so I left. People might think I don't have much patient that I couldn't even stay at least one year. Maybe right and maybe wrong, however I don't regret the decision. I only think it wasn't smart move. Since I left the job, I got a lot of time to think many things, and I realized that I've never had any smart move, just like this time.
I probably look for high jump, yet the height isn't reachable. I should step by one step so that I could reach the goal I've been dreaming. What am I now? I am a nothing, just any trash in the bin.
Nowadays, I think myself as a non-name rock singer. Even though I have a guitar, and I know how to sing, I got nowhere to explore myself. Just like that, I got all these kinds of knives and I knew how to cook, there is nowhere I can step in. Perhaps, due to high expectation of becoming a "name" chef, I couldn't find where I should belong to.
The stage of Korea isn't the place. Many Korean chefs have lack of passion and professionalism. As matter of the fact, there way too many ingredients are unavailable and too expensive. Plus that, many Koreans are yet to enjoy the fantasy world of cuisine. That is the reason why I should turn my head to overseas.
When I was in Sydney, I met fresh herb and so many ingredients. I met many great chefs when I was in New York. I want to be there again. Anywhere where I can learn and earn; furthermore where I can step up to next level, I want to go for it.
The only thing that bugging me is that I don't have enough money to do anything, so what should I do? This question drives me nut and makes me depressed.