Miss New York

This photo remind me the photo of New York that I took., which is below. All of sudden, I found that I actually miss New York. Even though the place is messy and smelly but, it has the character and everyone want to have it and I had it. People are right 'hate you will be love you'.
I decide to stay at Brussels. I didn't plan to stay. It was just stopping by. I was on the way to do world tour. Shit happens and it became hard everyday. I found a job in Brussels as a catering chef. I thought it would be good chance to get involve in the catering part since I used to a private chef and I guess that is what I am gonna do, i guess.
Since I can stay here and people get recognize me as a chef at Neptune although I am just a second, here would be the good start of creating my own cuisine. It would be very tough. People might not be ready for new comer.
I always say to myself that if I will have my own place to cook, it will be at New York. I still do want to be at New York more than any other places. However, Brussels might be the good start of opening tiny New York door. It might be good title of me 'A Korean Chef from Brussels'.
One day, I saw a place where I want to have my own place here in Brussels. That actually hit me to think about stating from here to NYC. This would be my question for everyday 'Do I really want to start from here?'.
I still don't have any answer for myself, just giving me theories. For now, I just focus on my job and will see what  it's gonna happen.
My life is good since I actually live under the roof. I have a job which makes me love my job more. I want to be happy and, apparently, Brussels is the place. I still don't know how much I love Brussels yet. it always requires some times. As my told me ' Enjoy whatever you got' I guess that is what I do 'Live my life'. I live for my life and I feel great to do. I guess I love myself that I can't love anyone but I still do love NYC. One day, I will be back, just count on me, New York

lost stories

Since I lost everything, I am starting all over again. Just simple object shacks my life. It seem like natural disaster, which you can not control over it but you should learn how to deal with it.

My story begins with the first trip to work with chef Katsumi Ishida.
I met him when I was at Le Verre Vole . He is a friend with my co worker Ryo. He is a Japanese chef . He is a great guy and chef. I respect him a lot as a chef. He always treat me like as if I am his apprentice but he trust me to do many things. By the way, Ryo opened Le Verre vole Tokyo. With Natural wine connection in France, many people talk about chef Katsumi Ishida. He is the rock star among natural wine makers. He like rock and always rock and roll. Before I left Verre Vole, I had a chance to meet him again because he came by the restaurant to hang out. I want to be his friend and he should show me some tricks. That is why I asked him, with my bad French, if I can have a stagiaire at his kitchen and he accepted me, just right there soon after I asked him. I was hungry for learn new technics of cooking. I did not ask him to pay me because I wanted to learn to be a chef. 2 months at Lyon was great times, except someone pushed me so I was bleeding and, my computer was stolen same night. After all I could not  write at all. It became my good excuse of not much writing even though I call myself as a writer on my card. Now, I got my new 300 euro window vistar computer. Shit computer but I just want to happy to see all the porn whenever I want to see. haha, it may just be a jock. I saved good enough money to travel around the world but living at the hostel was way too expensive for non-income. I had to push myself to limit to see how far I can go on. It was a part of my life experience.

it's 2 in the morning

what am I doing until this hours?? Well, I've been drinking. In the morning, I tasted little more Whiskey from last night. Well, it actually punches me to wake me up. Bang! Okay I am ready to do any stupid shits. Suck on you, it's my day off and I deserve to have some fun. Even though I am sure I got marry to my work, that is why I can't get any lady, I need some fun. More likely, it might like cheating on my wife in order to have more fun with her. You might think I am crazy. Do not tell me twice because I know. I love what I do now. I finally reached the level which I am allow to be creative. I work fucking my ass off to be there. i am not a just a fucking cooking robot any more. The restaurant opens only 4 days a week but, I work from morning 'till night. I want to do many things so I don't stop working. My boss want to pay every hours i work on but I said I do not care how many hours I work. Only matter is what I have done.
So, as you can see, I love to working fucking hard. Therefore, let me do whatever I wanna do sometimes. I am a fucking crazy person and wanna keep in this way. A fucking crazy chef, that is who I want to be when I grow up. I feel sometimes I am a boy trapped in man's body. Anyhow, I am a professional chef, yo mother-fucker. haha. I am just massing you around, yo!
Shit, I just found a blog called Fuck You Very Much - fuck you is new thank you. I love the concept and visuals. I found that my blog also need something more. I do write but I do need some photos as well. I don't want to put any other photos but mine. Unfortunately, my camera was stolen and, I am saving money for the new one. Losing something is hurtful for the first time but on the bright side, I could get better one next time as long as I can afford it. I get paid good enough to do whatever I want to do which is kinda makes me feel like successing, which mean =ing version of success. It is still progressive. Not always successfully done something great things but fail is the most key ingredient of being success anyway.
Where was I?? Alright. I started writing 2 in the morning and now is 3. fucking hell. Writing a little note took me an hour. Well, I was talking to my chef buddy on facebook, searching for music and video which I was going to watch after done with writing.
One more drink and one more episode of Califonaication, after then, I gotta sleep. Tomorrow is another day of my day offs and I need to do something, finally, before working days. I will keep writing and you will keep reading whatever I write on here. Thanks for listing because my voice might echoing in your brain

my place

In Brussels, I got a job which makes me feel as if i am an actual chef. Then, I got a place to live. My place is something like you might have seen in 80's movies. The studio seems to be frozen time from 80's. The 80's style studio with the window view of 19 century city but I am actually living in 21 century, funny. When I first time saw the room, I didn't feel like fitting into me. First of all, it was kinda big studio for myself. Well, my past apartments was pretty small since I didn't want to pay too much for it, the studio I got is still good deal for the size and location. Especially, the studio i had in Paris was the most smallest room I've never had in my life. Now in Brussels, I got biggest studio in my life.
Even though I am from 80's, I didn't like the style of the studio. The kitchen is way too small, I know I am not gonna cook much at home but I am a chef and need a proper kitchen just in case of cooking for someone special. There were too many furniture that I do not need all. For instant, additional single bad just takes the space. Previously, there were one single mom and a kid used to live. That is why there is a double bed and a single bed.
Anyhow, soon as I moved there, I rearrange whole place. Now, I like my place a lot. One thing is that I haven't slept on the double bed for ages so, I still sleep one side of the bed. I need a lady to fill in, i guess and i wish. I use the single bed as my 'nap bed' and as a couch. I totally pimped up my place. Next thing I am gonna do is to put my photo works on my walls. I am thinking of using my place as well as a gallery, will see what's gonna happen.
I feel like settling down in Brussels. It is feeling of saying ' You know what? I want to stay.' I've been moving around and I finally found the point of staying and focus on my career. I got a place to live and a job to work. I think my life will get smoother. It's been only 3 months in Brussels and I still don't know here. However, I think it would be really cool to live here for a while.
Belgium is 6th country that I've been working as a chef. In this stage, I should rich up my skill and knowledge. My life turns up hill. There is still far far away to reach the top but I am not looking forward to reach the top yet, I will keep looking up to be there. There is no more worries and struggles but happiness and potential for me. As I like to say often 'Love more, smile more and then much more happier', feel cool to be stand alone and strong.
The last words: I will have the house warming party next month so, you all are invited! Come!

Looking for little help here

I am asking anyone who read this post.
It's been 10 days of being homeless, jobless and broken. I've been trying to sell my guitar and worked at construction site, which I am still waiting to get paid. I know I don't have any working permit to work here but I am trying to get threw my life from here.
I just need a little donation for warm food, warm shower and warm bed. Any amount of donation will be paid once I get back on my own track.
You can send the donation by Western Union in Gent (Ghent), Belgium which is the current city where I am now. You can put my full name Roydon Kim and my birthday is 1980 July 22. the address is De Pintelaan 260 'Kazerne' Gent 9000. my email address is to roydon@theratedr.com After sending me the donation, you can email me for Money Transfer Control Number in order to collect it.
I would not ask your help if I can stand up alone but it's been too long for hungry and stinky. It will be the one time thing for your help. I will not forget of your big help and I will do same thing next time.
Thank you very much for reading this and, with your help, I will stand up strong and continue my journey of world tour.

after one night

Have you seen the movie of all the bunch of guys get drunken and don't remember what happen that night in Las Vegas?? Well, I fucked up in the similar way.
Since, my computer was stolen, every time when I got drunken, I lost some thing that I belong to. Starting with my glasses, my cell phone which I got from my chef Katsumi and a wallnet that had been with me for 6 years.
One night, I got my paycheck, my camera and my knife case. I had to drink up little bit to celerbrate my last day. Next thing I remember was I got nothing. I feel like some one cut off my right arm. It is really bad. There is a knife has been with me for 13 years so that I got tattoo of it. All my school knives are gone with it. My camera with 3000 photos of all these good meories and art works were gone. A month of working like a dog and got paid like dish washer were gone.
I hit the ground once again. It's been bad situation marathon. I am in bad shave and there is no one, not even one who wanted to work that place for a month. I am basically fucked up. I gotta go to the restaurant In de Wulf but don't know how.
I wanted to kill myself for that I didn't want to live whithout these. I am a chef, a photographer and a writer but I got no knife to cook, no camera to take photo and no computer to writer.
What should I do?? My life is really mess and It is so hard to continue. I really fucked all up bad this time and I don't know I can stand up again but I should try

.......

listening music that i want to hear and I am now sitting down at the front of my friend, Benjamin,'s computer to write. I want to buy my own computer but I can't afford. Even if I buy one, how could I continue the project of world tour. My brain is full of thoughts, full of possibility and not sure things. As long as my traveling goes, I feel much lonely and empty in my heart. I do have many good friends who willing to help me out and give me whatever they got. I do thank for my friend. Without them, I am nothing. it's been four months of traveling. If I didn't have anyone, I couldn't go this far. I love all my friends and I also willing to give them back something.
Even though I have so many loving people, I feel like something missing. I choose to be a traveler chef because I love to cook and traveling. I want to meet many different people just like I want to work with variety cuisine. I love what I do and what I accomplished. However, I think it is time to have a special someone in my heart. I am physically and mentally tired of being only one.  I am here in Paris for a month and then Belgium for another month. After then, I will keep moving. Short love? maybe? but, I want to hold it as long as I could.
I want to see her eyes to say love you. I want to be with her as long as I could. I sometimes want to lock the doors to spend "private time" with her. All I am dreaming is too difficult to do right now. I even don't remember when was the last time feeling love.
Lonely is killing me now. I don't want to put down my feeling because of it. I need sunny days. I wish to stand strong because of her. i wish there is someone comes with me to travel with me.
Shit, I should get out of the room. Enjoy the day and stop thinking too much; that is my goal of today

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover

One of the best movie with cooking I've never seen. The color contras, the interior of the restaurant, the cook's creation, so vivid color of his wife's dress and every scenes of this movie, even horrify ending, I love everything about this movie

Living in Provence

Where I am right now is called La-Drome-Provence and the town I am staying is Valaurie. I've no I idea what it means but even the name sounds beautiful, isn't it? At the farm, I've been here 3 weeks already and I don't feel like to move. This could be my actual first time for feeling of staying. Thinking of have you ever had thought of 'no, I want to stay'. I think I never had had once. Even though when I stay with my family, I always find a way to stay away from them. I think I finally found my peace here. I became little slow down and relax little bit, simply eat well, work well, and make sure enjoy well.

about a girl and girls II

I feel like i am confidence with ladies since I met many ladies in the half of my life. The ladies make me feel like a man and I've been enjoy it. I can talk dirty shit or bit nasty until she gave me a sign of 'now is the time to stop'. Haha, I am an asshole, I am saying! what can I say, I grew up with girls. Imagine that I was always with girl, cousins and my sister, it was way too much. I might act like a school girl sometimes but, deep inside of me, I am the fucking man.

what happen last two months??

Here are the things that happened to me. My computer was stolen which is the biggest thing for me. Some stupid mother fucker took my baby away and I want my baby back to keep writing and have my own entertainment. who-the-fuck-ever you are, you will pay for taking other person's belongs.
I feel kinda more likely lost myself after all. I don't know. A day before I came to France, my computer broken down and I had no choice but brought it with me anyhow. I used to use my buddy's computer when I started to live in France. Once my friend needed it back, I gave him and I was saving money for buying new one. it took me 4 or 5 months even though it was the cheapest thing anyone can buy. You know people say all the times 'cheap shit', which means it is cheap and it is shit. My computer was that but I liked it. Now, I am at a farm and they are kind enough to let me use their computer to do whatever hell I wanna do with this computer but once I left here, I don't know how to communicate.
Mmm, working at a farm is my second stage of this trip but, only 5.80 Euro is in my pocket and that is all. Good news is that working at a farm doesn't really need money so I got 3 more weeks to bounce back. I tried all these restaurants around this area in order to let them know I am available to work. In three days, I walked about 4 km and visited 6 restaurants. Two restaurants were closed for out of season. Only one chef, I actually met to talk about, you know a chef to a chef. And non of them needed someone to cook right now. So, what should I do from now....
I am not going to give up my traveling. I have to go threw no matter what. I believe in myself and there is always the way to get it done. I knew I would be out of money and no where to go but I prepared. I got my tent and sleeping back. I don't have a computer to type my thoughts but I got my note. My knife case, chef jackets, and working shoes are in my back so I am ready to work. My camera will keep documenting my view of the world and my guitar will be my entertainment. So, am I okay?? I think so. Even though I have walk long way with my baggage, I think I should get threw what I planed. This time I will put a big sign on my back pack "I am a cook to be hired. If you need someone to cook for you, here I am!"
World Tour: Rated R is continuing

Le Verre Volé - Forgotten Story (wrote on October)

This is the restaurant I have been working past 6 months. As a first timer in France, I would have expected to be a part of the team under a big shot chef. My first job in Paris was like that. Two good chef run the kitchen and it was spectacular experience. Working at Saturne was actually opened my eyes to see deeper inside of culinary world. After I took off from Saturne, I landed at Le Verre Volé which is a small tiny natural wine bistro. My first impression was just shocking moments because I had never expected not seeing any table clothes, serving wines with jeans on and no other chef wearing chef jackets.

Too busy or Too lazy??

I feel sorry to my readers that I haven't posted anything for last a month. Right now, I hit the road to travel all around world to taste what kind of cuisine I want to do.

My first stop is Lyon. I came here was one reason and one opportunity. One of well known chef in Lyon, chef Katsumi Ishida, gave me the chance to learn from him. He is a Japanese but he cooks French better and richer than any French chefs.

I stepped on my first step to complete my journey of searching for my cuisine, just like finding myself.

I am a homeless. Living at one of expansible city and low paid didn't even give me any chance to save some budget but I hit the road anyway. I like to say 'Life is either sink or swim'. I am on the road to be a chef with culinary philosophy. I am not looking for being a Michelin Star chef but I just want to be good at what I like to do for my life.

I wrote some articles for my blog. My defence is that I haven't had the Internet connection plus, much chance to be at the front of my computer that long enough to write something on here.
My homework is to keep writing about my traveling and what is in my mind that keeps telling me or asking me to find the answer. I started my journey. I have to continue it no matter what. I really want to. I want to finish my traveling, just wonder around, this year. I got no money and no one with me. It is for my life and I have to be stronger for it. Don't be too lazy to write something on here because I create this. I created this blog for combined art and culinary.
Dear readers, I will write my ass off. Dear my life, I want to keep recording or keep documenting what I do because what I do is who I am.

Spent too much time in my room

It’s been 13 years….

That is how long I have been in the kitchen beside the time I used to be a waiter since I was 16 years old. I don’t remember why I wanted to be a chef when I started it. Be frankly, girls loved a guy with cook books when I started cooking. I thought that was break threw to get laid. Only the problems is that past years weren’t my shows. I wasn’t shiny gold to bright up at the front of ladies. Maybe that is the reason I am always cranky, the person who is always not happy.

Whenever I saw a guy with ugly face and looking so fucking so lonely, I asked myself if I am that guy. really?? Why can’t I be a guy that having sex with 100 girls in a year?? Okay, if you think that I am thinking of sex too much, I think you are right. I do think I am sex addicted sometimes. I thought that I could get laid all the times when I become a chef. Yes, cooking for a girl is the most erotic thing the man can do for her. My favorite thing is that wearing nothing but an apron when I cook for a girl. I haven’t had chance, though. I want to do it!





With that basic reason, without thinking of cooking better food every day, I have only been cooking, I guess. I often embarrass by saying “I’ve been cooking for 13 years.”. When I got a big tattoo of my first knife with a sign of ‘Since 1999’, I didn’t want to put it at the first because people will ask me what is the mean by since 1999 and I have to say that is the year when I started cooking. Only the problem would be that people might think my food isn’t good enough for 13 years and wonder what he has been doing all these years. Despite all these fact that I put it with my first knife, I know it will be my wake up call, to say to myself ‘ wake up! You have been cooking since 1999, for god sake, it was fucking last century.’. I think I became more ego to be better and want to swim deep inside of the ocean because I want to swim, not sinking. I can’t really focus on only one thing, even my writing lost the focus time to time, but, if I focus on many things, I became more focused. It probably is the reason of why I have tried many things. Although my cuisine may lose some focus than 100 percent-ers, I am not only a chef. I don’t have any talents. Only talent that I have is to be different. I can’t just follow other people’s style. I like to observe few thing and then alter to my own way. Whatever I do is just me. I want to hear ‘that is Roy’. Now I want to put that in my cuisine.

It was last thing I cooked for Le Verre Vole

Slow Roasted & Herb Crushed Pork 

Drunken Photography

Today is Friday

Yes Today is Friday and from tomorrow ‘till Tuesday is my last shift at Le Verre Vole. Which means it this is my last shows there. Today is the probably last day of not so much worry about doing nothing since I got a job and, three days and a half day, I work ‘till my ass off so, I deserve to do nothing. I like this life. A half of a week is my duty call to cook and rest days of a week is mine. Only the problem is that I like to smoke and drink a lot and three days gave me the chance of unstoppable. I want to control myself so I’ve been doing exercise to build my body and even bought a guitar to spend some time productively but what have I been doing on my off days?

Loving someone…

For me loving someone is so hard. First of all, I don’t know how to love someone but, only how to make love to her. I do have many loving friends who I love from deep inside of my heart. Many of them, just because every individual lives in different countries and world, it is often hard to keep in touch each other. However, my friends know me how much I love them and miss them. That could be the reason I can stand up in this world and not feel much about being left alone. Anyhow, This love isn’t what I want to say. I want to talk about love between a lady and a gentleman.